Ben, chapter 9 was great, I only have two issues, 1, nobody ever asked about the giant bat in a coma on the couch 😂(we can just say he’s on a couch decently far from everyone else, it’s a mansion.) And 2 Darkhide was a bit to feisty, he’s more quiet, but the accusation about poison makes sense and him and Emeralds distrust about humans was spot on, because they only ever knew about Olympus humans and those guys were kinda like Nerva’s tribe (brain fart, it’s new legion right?) from the explorer notes. Emeralds commanding nature and distrustful attitude was spot on and you got Sheeri’s timidness really well, Nova doesn’t really have too much character depth yet so you couldn’t really get her wrong but I kinda see her as energetic and pretty optimistic and brave. So nailed it.

Also Darkhide doesn’t actually want to eat them, it was kinda a joke, it’s been fine so far I just don’t want it to become a main thing for him to constantly say they should eat everyone. Also he’s probably gonna be pretty paranoid about dangerous situations, and betrayal, since he was betrayed so often in his life. (by Salizar and his own people, but we’ll have to get farther in before I explain that… I see a very nice character arc in play…)

Anyway excited to read chapter 10, and write chapter 11, um should syl’s characters show up in chapter 10 since in chapter 8 they were already at the door basically? And then in Apex’s chapter he could have his and Mrghosts characters meet at the bottom of the stairs and then Mrghost’s chapter (or maybe the later part of Apex’s chapter can be everyone together.) and then maybe they should split into smaller groups in MrGhosts chapter because this is like 30 characters. It’s a lot to keep track of. If we are splitting into groups I think we’ll have to decide which of our characters team up. And we can explain them splitting up as like they are trying to figure out what’s happening so they split up.

If we do split up I think my characters should team up with MrGhosts because they’d feel more comfortable traveling with other creatures, and we both have villains so maybe our characters could be trying to find where Drain, Yang and Steve went. (Steve was a villain right? He went on Yangs shoulder.) anyway enough rambling from me I’m gonna go write the next PoP chapter.

-Wyvernain