DTG, just allow me to adjust the straight end of your tie…

1m read
0 points   πŸ“– Stories       Report

DTG, just allow me to adjust the straight end of your tie a few inches downwards and explain to you, that you are about to shut up and stop this,

Or elsssssssssssse*

. . .

*or else I force you to sign a lot of paperwork that decrees you may never speak outside of writing stories again,

And will except whatever punishment is decided by the intersectional enforcement of nerdness,

And then I'll put that paperwork in a blender and force you to eat it, before rebuilding it and making you sign it again,

In your own blood,

Before informing you that blood melts paper not specifically designed to be written on with blood,

Before informing you that the reason for this is not enough blood,

Before you look around and notice the cleverly laid trap that will drop an array of medieval weapons directly onto you if you move,

Before I go off with my hard earned peace and quiet before borwsing my cerebral Google to see the best recipes to cook peace and quiet for dinner.

~signed in liquid boredom, headache juice, and a helping of shuddupangodawayfrever(it's a brand of ink I found in my left cerebrum, I have to visit there

a lot what with the whole writing fictional stories about dragons with extensive lore I made last week)

Poecilotheria metallica.

Ps.

GO WRITE SOME POETRY, BUY A GOAT, GENETICALLY ENGINEER BLOODSUCKING MURDER BUGS THAT WILL DESTROY CIVILISATION,

DO ANNNNNNNNYYTHINT, JUST SCRAM

Share your own ARK stories!

Open the Dododex app on iOS or Android, select a creature, and go to Tips > Submit Tip.

More Stories By This Author