Me: *Walks through the redwood forest(aka the hundred acre wood)*
Dire bear : *Appears*
Me: Arrrggghhh!!!
Dire bear: is you Christopher Robin?
Me: n-n-no?
Dire bear: do you haves honey
Me: nooooooooo??
Dire bear: THEN YOU SHALL DIEEEE
BilltheButthole was yeeted by level 10,000,000,000 Dire bear (Winnie)

Name your survivor Christopher Robin and it will spare you

Its like a bear, only dire.

I wholeheartedly agree with communism.

Is it bad I want to paint one yellow and red and name it Winnie the Pooh?😂

Me: where are the terror bird?
Direbear: gone, reduced to atoms

So I’m walking along the redwoods and I see one of these bad boys and I think to myself (it does look hostile. But in case if it is I’ll just run, no waaay can this fatty can catch me.)

HOLY $#!T I was wrong

Me and the boys when theres no honey ham

If you go out in the woods today, your in for a big surprise🎶🎶
If you go out in the woods today, your parasaur will die🎶🎶

Me: (sees 2 of them). Also me: DONT MOVE. direbear: ( walks past me). Me: huh nevermind. Direbear: COME HERE BOIIIIIIIIII.

You saw a 250 right outside our base?


HOLD MY BEAR

When you go to tame these remember to take only the bear necessities . . .

You: Oh cute a bear he’s so fat he can’t catch me

Direbear: B*tch did you just call meh fat? OOOOOOH YOU GON GET IT

Tame one and paint it red and yellow, tame a daedon paint it pink and tame an equus then paint it blue.

feed it honey and call it pooh, friend forever just need piglet

For everyone saying that its dumb that regular bear traps dont work this is because there based on modern day bears not prehistoric bears lol it makes since

in ark you ride bear in abberant ark bear rides you

Rose's are red,violets are blue. I tamed a dire bear...so should you!

Me:ITS WINNIE THE POOH*walks too close* Bear:*roars* Me:Want honey. *dies*

me:seeing a direbear for the first time* hmm its just a teddy bear
direbear:come here lunch
me:oh sh$t i was wrong