Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator

Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the direbear? Funny direbear jokes submitted by ARK players.
Its like a bear, only dire.
All of the jokes about βDireβ are almost unβbearβable
Ok, Iβll leave........
Ok, Iβll leave........
The pic looks like it crying.
Itβs a giant weeny-the-Pooh. All you have to do is paint it yellow and red and then... BEHOLD!!! Weeny-The-Pooh on steroids!!!
You guys are in dire need of new jokes.
βIβm smarter then the average bear!β
It will be hard but tame a dire bear a titanoboa a sabertooth a mantis and mesopithicus bam u got the furious 5
Is it bad I want to paint one yellow and red and name it Winnie the Pooh?π
Me: where are the terror bird?
Direbear: gone, reduced to atoms
Direbear: gone, reduced to atoms
So Iβm walking along the redwoods and I see one of these bad boys and I think to myself (it does look hostile. But in case if it is Iβll just run, no waaay can this fatty can catch me.)
HOLY $#!T I was wrong
HOLY $#!T I was wrong
I have a lvl 133 and it deals 200 DMG HOLY $#!T
If you go out in the woods today, your in for a big surpriseπΆπΆ
If you go out in the woods today, your parasaur will dieπΆπΆ
If you go out in the woods today, your parasaur will dieπΆπΆ
You saw a 250 right outside our base?
HOLD MY BEAR
HOLD MY BEAR
When you go to tame these remember to take only the bear necessities . . .
Me: (sees 2 of them). Also me: DONT MOVE. direbear: ( walks past me). Me: huh nevermind. Direbear: COME HERE BOIIIIIIIIII.
feed it honey and call it pooh, friend forever just need piglet
I just bearly made it! get it... oh ok... I will leave now...
in ark you ride bear in abberant ark bear rides you
Me: *Walks through the redwood forest(aka the hundred acre wood)*
Dire bear : *Appears*
Me: Arrrggghhh!!!
Dire bear: is you Christopher Robin?
Me: n-n-no?
Dire bear: do you haves honey
Me: nooooooooo??
Dire bear: THEN YOU SHALL DIEEEE
BilltheButthole was yeeted by level 10,000,000,000 Dire bear (Winnie)
Dire bear : *Appears*
Me: Arrrggghhh!!!
Dire bear: is you Christopher Robin?
Me: n-n-no?
Dire bear: do you haves honey
Me: nooooooooo??
Dire bear: THEN YOU SHALL DIEEEE
BilltheButthole was yeeted by level 10,000,000,000 Dire bear (Winnie)
Me:ITS WINNIE THE POOH*walks too close* Bear:*roars* Me:Want honey. *dies*