An Ovis, a drum and a Titanoboa fall into a Canyon.


Baah-Dum-Tss

Bud if you see this might want to come prepared for shrek it just says GET OUT ME SWAMP

If you’re in lvl 7 (DO NOT GO NEAR)
i did try DID NOT GO WELL

So one time I was looking for a female Sarco so I can get a imprinted Sarco, well I was walking around the swamp when I hear the slither slither of a snake, it hits me but I kill it, knowing that one hit from a Titanoboas can knock me out (low torpor), I run to the swamp beach but I fall asleep, and my otter falls off, I was waiting to wake up but hear the slither of a snake, knowing I was going to die, I prayed that somehow my otter (Oscar) was going to live, he didn’t, 1 like=1 F for oscar

Why I want to die, TITANOBOA KILLING ALL MY TAMES AND EATING MY FERTILIZED EGGS HATCHING FOR BREAKFAST LIKE A TROODON!

Love how it says "can be found in the dark caves of the island" and then I saw one jump off a cliff and then it climbed back up to kill me and then it died.wonderful

Why the hell are snakes still not tameable on fear evolved

*human oh noes ima ded
*tb knocks out human
*pulls out cooked meat
*tames human

I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes, on this motherf***ing plane!

I found one by my maschops and i was like "GET THE F*** AWAY" and then I realized that it was bot attacking my maschops but it was attacking a tree and i was like
"what the f***" and i killed it in two seconds p.s these will knock you out if your not careful

1. Go to a swamp
2. Feed it fertilized eggs
3. Have fun
4. Realize you're unconscious at step 1

There's a joke here why you can't tame them. You can't be friends with a snake. A snake is someone who uses your friendship for their own personal gains. I'm talking about you Jacob

Me: How dangerous can the swamp really be??

Titanoboa: hold my ascendant beer

*first time playing*
"OH SHIT OH SHIT RUNNNNN"

*100 in game days later*
*on a Rex*
"Oh hey lil snaky come here u lil fucker gimme yo prime meat"

Imagine if ark added a saddle to the Titanoboa that was the length of its body and could fit multiple passengers, it would be like arks bus “-“ :)

Punch in the face and youre going to die
Killed by a giant noodle

*Titanoboa* AHHH A HUMAN" *Human* "AHHHH A SNAKE" *Dodo* "AHHH A SNAKE AND A HUMAN"

Snakes... why did I have to be snakes?

I killed tintaboa level 2 but somehow it came back from the dead knocked me out and killed me I came back and found the body of the tintaboa in the exact place I killed it.

Pro with noob in cave: a titan boa! Don’t move!
Noob: Kay
Me: slowly backs away and and runs away
Also me: haha bah saves me a bola!
Noob: Nono don’t kill me snakes! Take my fert eggs!
Also noob: I tamed them all with me eggs, but they still is chasing me!!
Me: there following u u idiot there tamed
Noob: Kay! Snakes freinds!
Me: yea snakes freinds
Noob: snakes! Snakes! Snakeys! Yay snakes!
Me: umm should we go to base now
Noob: yes snakes freinds come to base!
Me: ummm
Noob: they my first pets
Me: ok
Noob*yay snakes* ( whisper)
Me: dude!!