An Ovis, a drum and a Titanoboa fall into a Canyon.

Baah-Dum-Tss

Snakes…why’d it have to be snakes

Titanoboa: AHHhHHhHHh a human with a pike!!!!!!! Human: AHhHhHHhHhHhHh a snake that would make me sleep,!!!! Dodo: gACGACGaCGaCGACGa running away noises

So one time I was looking for a female Sarco so I can get a imprinted Sarco, well I was walking around the swamp when I hear the slither slither of a snake, it hits me but I kill it, knowing that one hit from a Titanoboas can knock me out (low torpor), I run to the swamp beach but I fall asleep, and my otter falls off, I was waiting to wake up but hear the slither of a snake, knowing I was going to die, I prayed that somehow my otter (Oscar) was going to live, he didn’t, 1 like=1 F for oscar

Why the hell are snakes still not tameable on fear evolved

*human oh noes ima ded

*tb knocks out human

*pulls out cooked meat

*tames human

I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes, on this motherf***ing plane!

Meggie was just walking at the edge of the cliff, looking for something and she was randomly attacked by a titanboa and he made her get thrown off the cliff then died and she said in her gaming chair "I DIDNT KILL MY SELF THAT SNAKE DID"

Me: exists

Titanoboa: night night

Me: dies because of the leeches that were on me

Also me: AaaAaaAaAaaAAa

There's a joke here why you can't tame them. You can't be friends with a snake. A snake is someone who uses your friendship for their own personal gains. I'm talking about you Jacob

Baby Titanoboa: MOTHER! I made a song!

Mother Titanoboa: really sweety? Let’s hear it.

Baby Titanoboa: Human comes near, we chase it outa here! Human punch us in the face, he disgrace SO WE WILL BITE HIM IN THE FACE!

Mother Titanoboa: well that’s a nice song-

Baby Titanoboa: wait! I’m not finished!

GROWL FACE EAT HIS FACE KNOCK HIM OVER SEAL HIS FATE! His friends come to save him soon they come by after noon, then once he fall WE KILL THEM ALL!

Punch in the face and youre going to die

Killed by a giant noodle

*Titanoboa* AHHH A HUMAN" *Human* "AHHHH A SNAKE" *Dodo* "AHHH A SNAKE AND A HUMAN"

Me noob going to drink water from a lake *titanoboa *comes out of water*me* aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh anyone relates ¿

Snakes... why did I have to be snakes?

1. Go to a swamp

2. Feed it fertilized eggs

3. Have fun

4. Realize you're unconscious at step 1

Imagine if ark added a saddle to the Titanoboa that was the length of its body and could fit multiple passengers, it would be like arks bus “-“ :)

If they don't have genders

How did they ever exist

And how do they ALL lay eggs

Are they like real-life snails, who are both male and female?

BEHOLD THE ALMIGHTY SNEK

(Don’t tread on it)

Calling all snek fans!!