Like all snakes there’s nothing a good shotgun shell can’t fix.

My naym is snek

And my body long

My head is smol

But but my jaw is strong

And wen it time

To get me fed

I open wide

And monch the egg

These are eggcelent for knocking other dinos out! Ok I will admit that was a bad joke

Why isn't this tameable? Even a dodo isn't stupid enough to be tamed. Ark Logic

Bro they added the dilophoboa from Jurassic world alive

Bro I am TERRIFIED of these things. The way they slither towards you sends chills down my spine. I’m so terrified that I REFUSE to go anywhere near the swamps unless I have a flying mount.

This is a snake and it's a titanaboa, so it's basically a gigantic snake.

When I tried to tame it I used a fertilized dodo egg…..

It hatched when I dropped it……

It got eaten right as it hatched…..

Rest in peace baby dodo that wasn’t supposed to live anyways

You’re walking through a swamp, then suddenly, you trip over a tree root and fall head-first into the mud. You then hear a “ba-dum-tsss.”

As the drums in this game have no cymbals on them, you turn around to see what made that noise. And the hissing noise was made by the Titanoboa that was playing the drums. Then it goes to kill you.

(inspired by the top funny comment)

Calling all snek fans!!

Titanoboa: AHHhHHhHHh a human with a pike!!!!!!! Human: AHhHhHHhHhHhHh a snake that would make me sleep,!!!! Dodo: gACGACGaCGaCGACGa running away noises

I hate ARK's snakes

Their poison bite!

Me: ok, i can land here to regain stam on my pteranodon

Big snake: Hello

Me and my pteranodon : buy buy have a nice tiiiime!

*accidentally lands in redwoods and dies*

I have had soooo many close calls

Snakes, I wish to tame I could,

In real life so little required food,

Yet to others not appeal, though they should,

Why not in a game to ride them to brighten my mood?

Doctor: Can you describe the snake that bit you?

Me: Like a very angry rope

Oops I spilled my spaghetti and my radioactive sauce on my pet dilo

They’re in your home, they’re coming close, now they’re gonna bite your face-

Put a snek in a fridge with cocaine for a million years, you get this.

YOU CAN RUN… BUT YOU CANT HIDE!

Realizes you where knocked unconscious and just dreaming.

Me noob going to drink water from a lake *titanoboa *comes out of water*me* aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh anyone relates ¿