Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips
What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
After reading all the tips about "bola your friend and run" i tried it myself, me and my friend got aggrod by a raptor, I remembered the tip and bolad my freind to save my life. After my friend died to the raptor he got as close to the mic as possible and said "COULDN'T YOU JUST BOLA THE RAPTOR" now that I think, he may have a point there
Since it’s that time of year again;
On the last day of Christmas, a raptor gave to me
12 total deaths
11 lost dilos
10 dead dodos
9 percent more anger
8 rage quits
7 lost tames
6 more deaths
5 LOOOOST BASES!
4 funny moments
3 key parts in stories
2 found in mountains
And a dead parasour that I wasted a saddle on
-by ARKdude
Man, let me tell you something. I’m out here on Aberration, minding my own damn business, when I see this Aberrant Raptor mauling some poor innocent creature like it owes her rent. So I run up, ready to die like an idiot, and I punch this dinosaur RIGHT in the face.
And this damn Raptor — this bloodthirsty, pouncing, ankle‑biting nightmare — just STOPS. She looks at me like, ‘My bad. I didn’t know you were in charge.’ Next thing I know, this wild-ass Raptor is acting like she’s been my pet for YEARS. No bola. No tranqs. No kibble. Just one punch and a whole lotta attitude. And THEN — AND THEN — she lets me put her in a cryopod like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I swear, this ARK is broken. This ARK is tired. This ARK is DONE. It saw me getting mad about DLC creatures and said, ‘Give her the damn Raptor before she breaks something. So yeah. I tamed an Aberrant Raptor by punching her in the face. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. I’m just rolling with it.
One day I was walking on the beach. It was a pretty view until a level 130 raptor pounced on me it touched me in ways I would not want to talk about. I some how survived. I hid. When I thought the coast was clear came out the little shit was pretty clearly liked me too much. Pounced on me again. Bill Cosby got to me. One like helps stop raptor stop raping new low level. Help the cause.