Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion

Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
One day I was breeding raptors and the baby hatched! I was a proud mother ( even though I’m a man ). Anyways I was watching g the little baby walking and I lived on a cliff... So I was watching and I punched it and IT WAS HEADING TO THE CLIFF. As the concerned mother I was I ran to get it but I could t stop the little thing! IT FELL OFF THE CLIFF so I got my bird and flew down so see if it’s dead... yup. One like one flower for speedy ❤️💐
On the last day of Christmas raptor clause said to me
12 compies running
11 humans screaming
10 bulbdogs barking
9 trikes charging
8 carnos chomping
7 seagulls stealing
6 dodos bawking
5 goooooooolden duck eggs
4 rexes roaring
3 allos annoying
2 pelagornis begging for fish
And a raptor whose name is Raptor clause
-OutboundManx475:-)
The BEST guard dogs ever.
On unofficial server I'd tamed and bred about 30 Raptors and locked away inside the base. Had local noob tribe raid me for goodies. They blew the behemoth gate off my base.. queue a load of high end angry Raptors jumping out and ripping them to shreds. Global chat going nuts as my Raptors ripped them to shreds until they gave up the raid as too much trouble.
God bless the Raptor
If you are new,
Don’t think escaping me
Is easy to do.
You can’t outrun me,
And you’ll likely die trying to kill me.
I limit your territory, and if you
Manage to tame me, consider yourself lucky.
I am the superior one here,
So keep a sharp eye out, or you won’t know when I’m near.
In your eyes I can clearly see the fear, when I come near.
Thinking you can escape me, thinking you can defeat me,
Well I’m sorry, but I’m just better.
I’m a go-getter.
You wanna be the hunter, but when I’m around, your nothing but the prey.
I only fall to people higher up, but to me your just a lifeless lump.
I see that bola, out n’ swinging, can’t tell if your tryna tame me, or simply
Leave me hanging.
But I got faster reflexes and I will pounce, so don’t expect not to get overtaken.
Deep inside, I can see that without me, your breaking.
But we ain’t exactly friends,
More like battlefield fiends.
Unless you can tame me, maybe then I’d reconsider.
But you and me are to remain bitter.