Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips
What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
The BEST guard dogs ever.
On unofficial server I'd tamed and bred about 30 Raptors and locked away inside the base. Had local noob tribe raid me for goodies. They blew the behemoth gate off my base.. queue a load of high end angry Raptors jumping out and ripping them to shreds. Global chat going nuts as my Raptors ripped them to shreds until they gave up the raid as too much trouble.
God bless the Raptor
So I was walking on my Parasaur to explore around my base. Then all of a sudden, a Raptor jumped on top of me and killed me.😢 When I came back to collect my stuff, I found that my Parasaur died.😭 I was so angry. 😡 Then the Raptor jumped on me and killed me again. I came back AGAIN, to collect the saddle from my Parasaur. Then I grabbed my stuff, and literally ran away to my base to find another Parasaur. I died again, sadly. No Parasaur will never replace my old Parasuar.
1 like= 1 Respect for Sky 😭
If you are new,
Don’t think escaping me
Is easy to do.
You can’t outrun me,
And you’ll likely die trying to kill me.
I limit your territory, and if you
Manage to tame me, consider yourself lucky.
I am the superior one here,
So keep a sharp eye out, or you won’t know when I’m near.
In your eyes I can clearly see the fear, when I come near.
Thinking you can escape me, thinking you can defeat me,
Well I’m sorry, but I’m just better.
I’m a go-getter.
You wanna be the hunter, but when I’m around, your nothing but the prey.
I only fall to people higher up, but to me your just a lifeless lump.
I see that bola, out n’ swinging, can’t tell if your tryna tame me, or simply
Leave me hanging.
But I got faster reflexes and I will pounce, so don’t expect not to get overtaken.
Deep inside, I can see that without me, your breaking.
But we ain’t exactly friends,
More like battlefield fiends.
Unless you can tame me, maybe then I’d reconsider.
But you and me are to remain bitter.
I had a pack of 5 glorious raptors (all males) couldnt tame a female and get some breeding action going on unfortunately. I was on my trike and having 5 raptors follow me around I felt invincible. Tearing through everything in my path in seconds, until I encountered a glowing red alpha raptor. I knew I might lose a raptor or 2 but I wanted to kill that alpha raptor. Ended up killing my pack and everything I love and killed me too. 👍 to pay respects
Me: *casually harvesting resources on a large piece of land to take back to my base on herbivore island.*
Raptor: hold my beer. Imma kill this guy. *proceeds to run at me.*
Me: turns around with an assault rifle in my hands and kills the raptor.*
The other raptors: oh hell nah. F**k this guy.