Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion

Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
If you are new,
Don’t think escaping me
Is easy to do.
You can’t outrun me,
And you’ll likely die trying to kill me.
I limit your territory, and if you
Manage to tame me, consider yourself lucky.
I am the superior one here,
So keep a sharp eye out, or you won’t know when I’m near.
In your eyes I can clearly see the fear, when I come near.
Thinking you can escape me, thinking you can defeat me,
Well I’m sorry, but I’m just better.
I’m a go-getter.
You wanna be the hunter, but when I’m around, your nothing but the prey.
I only fall to people higher up, but to me your just a lifeless lump.
I see that bola, out n’ swinging, can’t tell if your tryna tame me, or simply
Leave me hanging.
But I got faster reflexes and I will pounce, so don’t expect not to get overtaken.
Deep inside, I can see that without me, your breaking.
But we ain’t exactly friends,
More like battlefield fiends.
Unless you can tame me, maybe then I’d reconsider.
But you and me are to remain bitter.
So I was walking on my Parasaur to explore around my base. Then all of a sudden, a Raptor jumped on top of me and killed me.😢 When I came back to collect my stuff, I found that my Parasaur died.😭 I was so angry. 😡 Then the Raptor jumped on me and killed me again. I came back AGAIN, to collect the saddle from my Parasaur. Then I grabbed my stuff, and literally ran away to my base to find another Parasaur. I died again, sadly. No Parasaur will never replace my old Parasuar.
1 like= 1 Respect for Sky 😭
I had a pack of 5 glorious raptors (all males) couldnt tame a female and get some breeding action going on unfortunately. I was on my trike and having 5 raptors follow me around I felt invincible. Tearing through everything in my path in seconds, until I encountered a glowing red alpha raptor. I knew I might lose a raptor or 2 but I wanted to kill that alpha raptor. Ended up killing my pack and everything I love and killed me too. 👍 to pay respects
Since it’s that time of year again;
On the last day of Christmas, a raptor gave to me
12 total deaths
11 lost dilos
10 dead dodos
9 percent more anger
8 rage quits
7 lost tames
6 more deaths
5 LOOOOST BASES!
4 funny moments
3 key parts in stories
2 found in mountains
And a dead parasour that I wasted a saddle on
-by ARKdude