Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
Man, let me tell you something. I’m out here on Aberration, minding my own damn business, when I see this Aberrant Raptor mauling some poor innocent creature like it owes her rent. So I run up, ready to die like an idiot, and I punch this dinosaur RIGHT in the face.
And this damn Raptor — this bloodthirsty, pouncing, ankle‑biting nightmare — just STOPS. She looks at me like, ‘My bad. I didn’t know you were in charge.’ Next thing I know, this wild-ass Raptor is acting like she’s been my pet for YEARS. No bola. No tranqs. No kibble. Just one punch and a whole lotta attitude. And THEN — AND THEN — she lets me put her in a cryopod like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I swear, this ARK is broken. This ARK is tired. This ARK is DONE. It saw me getting mad about DLC creatures and said, ‘Give her the damn Raptor before she breaks something. So yeah. I tamed an Aberrant Raptor by punching her in the face. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. I’m just rolling with it.
So I was walking on my Parasaur to explore around my base. Then all of a sudden, a Raptor jumped on top of me and killed me.😢 When I came back to collect my stuff, I found that my Parasaur died.😭 I was so angry. 😡 Then the Raptor jumped on me and killed me again. I came back AGAIN, to collect the saddle from my Parasaur. Then I grabbed my stuff, and literally ran away to my base to find another Parasaur. I died again, sadly. No Parasaur will never replace my old Parasuar.
1 like= 1 Respect for Sky 😭
I had a pack of 5 glorious raptors (all males) couldnt tame a female and get some breeding action going on unfortunately. I was on my trike and having 5 raptors follow me around I felt invincible. Tearing through everything in my path in seconds, until I encountered a glowing red alpha raptor. I knew I might lose a raptor or 2 but I wanted to kill that alpha raptor. Ended up killing my pack and everything I love and killed me too. 👍 to pay respects