Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator

Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the megalosaurus? Funny megalosaurus jokes submitted by ARK players.
Please do not mine the "rock"
You will die
You will die
First time seeing one ever:
Aww it's so cute and fluffy, it's just sleeping... Oh wait, what's it doing. It's waking up? Uhh, why are it's eyes-. OH MY GOD, HELP, THIS THING IS NOT CUTE, ITS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER DEAR GOD!!!
Aww it's so cute and fluffy, it's just sleeping... Oh wait, what's it doing. It's waking up? Uhh, why are it's eyes-. OH MY GOD, HELP, THIS THING IS NOT CUTE, ITS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER DEAR GOD!!!
Mike: Jerald Just donβt.
Jerald: But... itβs so squishy.
Mike: Jerald... put the spear down, itβs not worth it.
Jerald: ......
Mike: Jerald no!!
Mike: HaHa, spear go poke.
Megalosaurus: (Gets up)
Mike: (is a mile away)
Jerald: .....
The Megalosaurus: (Looks him dead in the eye) Then goes back to sleep.
Jerald: OoOh fun I poke again!
Megalosaurus: Thatβs it you little sh-
Jerald:
Jerald: But... itβs so squishy.
Mike: Jerald... put the spear down, itβs not worth it.
Jerald: ......
Mike: Jerald no!!
Mike: HaHa, spear go poke.
Megalosaurus: (Gets up)
Mike: (is a mile away)
Jerald: .....
The Megalosaurus: (Looks him dead in the eye) Then goes back to sleep.
Jerald: OoOh fun I poke again!
Megalosaurus: Thatβs it you little sh-
Jerald:
That mtf wake up
He protecc
He attacc
And more important
He slepp
He attacc
And more important
He slepp
At day they are fluffy bois...
at night they are bringers of death...
And once you tame them...
They become a cat.
at night they are bringers of death...
And once you tame them...
They become a cat.
Heck!?!? What's this fluff? Hmm...fluff ain't movin...what to do with fluff...oh poke fluff with pike!
RRUUUUUNNNN!!! FLUFF IS NOT HAPPY FLUFF DON'T TOUCH FLUFF!!!
RRUUUUUNNNN!!! FLUFF IS NOT HAPPY FLUFF DON'T TOUCH FLUFF!!!
These thing are actually monsters that come out at night and murder you if you donβt go to sleep.
Basically me on a school day. Tired and constantly wanting to sleep in the day, totally awake at night
Whoever tames one of these with punching,and cooked fish meat, is a real man.
While it's asleep, draw a mustache on its face and run for life :D
I was searching for the best dinos I could tame at my level I was looking for a dodo and I jumped on this rock turned out it wasn't a rock it was death
I was walking in a cave then i saw a big rock i tried to mine it blood came out!!!HELP ME DADA!!!!
Its....so.....flipping....cute.....when.......it..sleeps.......
I accidentally tried to mine it π (I was level 27)
So yea I was in the cliffs enjoying the peaceful views and watching my ankly to be tame. The night settled in so as standard standing torch was at the ready. All of a sudden I hear my argentavis screeching turns round to see this son of a bitch holding the bird in its mouth and shaking me to my core. As always I tried to remain calm when ark is just arking with you. Equipped my sword light disappears and I'm frantically slashing and hacking one of these buggers. Eventually the beast drops my bird has a slither of health and a sabertooth bitch slaps my argy. R.I.P sir flattery
So cute when they are sleeping...
While i was taming this sleeping guy on Ext he just woke up with full torpor he was still taming somehow but j had to knowc him again
I was wandering in a cave in the daytime and I run over this rock and the rock moved I was so scared I literally fell out of my chair
Iz a sleepy boi. Yes he iz a sleepy boi