What are some funny jokes or stories about the megalosaurus? Funny megalosaurus jokes submitted by ARK players.
ITS SO FLUFFYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
First time seeing one ever:
Aww it's so cute and fluffy, it's just sleeping... Oh wait, what's it doing. It's waking up? Uhh, why are it's eyes-. OH MY GOD, HELP, THIS THING IS NOT CUTE, ITS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER DEAR GOD!!!
That mtf wake up
Me:OOOO fluffy rock.
Me:( hits with pickaxe )
Megalosaurus: ( looks at me with a deadly look )
Megalosaurus: ( goes back to sleep )
Me: let’s hit it again
Me:( hit him again )
Megalosaurus: ALRIGHT YOU ARE GOING DOWN YOU LITTLE SHI-
Basically me on a school day. Tired and constantly wanting to sleep in the day, totally awake at night
At day they are fluffy bois...
at night they are bringers of death...
And once you tame them...
They become a cat.
Whoever tames one of these with punching,and cooked fish meat, is a real man.
While it's asleep, draw a mustache on its face and run for life :D
My taming attempts
Me: *enters middle chamber cave*
Me: *finds a megalosaurus*
Me: *knocks out megalosaurus*
Random Araneo: ALRIGHT CMERE
Random Onyc: DIEEE
Me: *kills araneo and onyc*
My Thirst Bar: Im boutta end this man’s whole career
Me: *dies from thirst*
Megalosaurus: *gets up*
Me: *sees 4 sleeping megalosaurus’*
Me: *puts down 2 large bear traps*
Me: *shoots tranq darts at megalosaurus*
Megalosaurus: Alright Listen here you little sh-
Megalosaurus: *gets trapped in bear trap*
Megalosaurus: *gets knocked out*
Other Megalosaurus’: WASSUP
Me: *cowardly hiding*
Mike: Jerald Just don’t.
Jerald: But... it’s so squishy.
Mike: Jerald... put the spear down, it’s not worth it.
Mike: Jerald no!!
Mike: HaHa, spear go poke.
Megalosaurus: (Gets up)
Mike: (is a mile away)
The Megalosaurus: (Looks him dead in the eye) Then goes back to sleep.
Jerald: OoOh fun I poke again!
Megalosaurus: That’s it you little sh-
But most importantly…
THEY ARE AS CUTE AS KITTENS WHEN THEY ARE SLEEPING 😍😍😍😍
I thought it was a Rock and I’m died
Me listening to my brother tell me the basic rules of ark: rule number 5 never travel at night, me: but with the Megalosaurus you can only travel at night.
My brother: now listen here you little shi-
If you encounter this ...... don't run you can't..... just enjoy you quick , painful death :)
New to Crystal btw. Saw what I assumed was obsidian. Thankfully I was on a wyvern so I didn't touch the ground. But holy f. The dinos on the ground here are hard as hell to see! Earlier going for a fire wyvern, a basilisk rocked my sh*t lol
I was walking in a cave then i saw a big rock i tried to mine it blood came out!!!HELP ME DADA!!!!
If this fluffer looked like megalosaurus when he was first discovered, we’d have a lion croc aka kapro 2.0
Me: NO DON'T HIT IT
My friend: But is a fluffy rock. I'm going to have some pelt-rocks
Me: DON'T DO IT! YOU WILL KILL BOTH OF US!
Him: *hit him with a pickaxe*
Megalosaurus: What in...*fall asleep again
Him: Funny! I will do it again!
Megalosaurus: ALRIGHT YOU JERK! I'M GONNA ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE!!!!
Him: OH SHIT, HELP ME!!
Me: *bola him and run away*