Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion

Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the megalosaurus? Funny megalosaurus jokes submitted by ARK players.
My taming attempts
Attempt #1
Me: *enters middle chamber cave*
Me: *finds a megalosaurus*
Me: *knocks out megalosaurus*
Random Araneo: ALRIGHT CMERE
Random Onyc: DIEEE
Me: *kills araneo and onyc*
My Thirst Bar: Im boutta end this man’s whole career
Me: *dies from thirst*
Megalosaurus: *gets up*
Attempt #2
Me: *sees 4 sleeping megalosaurus’*
Me: *puts down 2 large bear traps*
Me: *shoots tranq darts at megalosaurus*
Megalosaurus: Alright Listen here you little sh-
Megalosaurus: *gets trapped in bear trap*
Megalosaurus: SH*T
Megalosaurus: *gets knocked out*
Night Approaches
Other Megalosaurus’: WASSUP
Me: *cowardly hiding*
Megalosaurus: *tames*
LESSSSSS GOOOOOOOOO
Mike: Jerald Just don’t.
Jerald: But... it’s so squishy.
Mike: Jerald... put the spear down, it’s not worth it.
Jerald: ......
Mike: Jerald no!!
Mike: HaHa, spear go poke.
Megalosaurus: (Gets up)
Mike: (is a mile away)
Jerald: .....
The Megalosaurus: (Looks him dead in the eye) Then goes back to sleep.
Jerald: OoOh fun I poke again!
Megalosaurus: That’s it you little sh-
Jerald:
Me: NO DON'T HIT IT
My friend: But is a fluffy rock. I'm going to have some pelt-rocks
Me: DON'T DO IT! YOU WILL KILL BOTH OF US!
Him: *hit him with a pickaxe*
Megalosaurus: What in...*fall asleep again
Him: Funny! I will do it again!
Megalosaurus: ALRIGHT YOU JERK! I'M GONNA ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE!!!!
Him: OH SHIT, HELP ME!!
Me: *bola him and run away*