Row row row your raft, gently down the ocean, merrily merrily merrily, your raft has be eaten

If you see one of these just eat some organic poleymer and save yourself the pain

My pet fish has been getting on some weight lately.

RIP 700 CRYSTALS

RIP 1200 METAL ORE

RIP MY DODO

RIP MY RAPTORS

RIP MY ANKE EGG

RIP MY ARCHE EGG

RIP METAL BOAT FORT

RIP ME

this F**k is a behemoth

Alone with basilasaurus and mosasaur, this shows up if you type in “whale”

-Moon 🐋🐋

It wants you to show it affection. They're lonely and want to be your friend. Just use a raft and pilot it right above it. Then, enjoy!

Think the funniest thing that happened is that I got killed by a group of 2 of these so many times I made a platform on the motor boat set up a minigun seat and generators with turrets set up on all sides and once I saw them I cut the engine turned on the generator got on the minigun and lit them up looks like I’m having fish for the rest of the game session🤣🤣🤣

Part 1.

Long story but here it goes in full detail.

2 of my friends and I just started a non-dedicated server (just for fun) as myself and one of the other friends are particularly new to the game. With my buddy Cam being the Ark Wizard and showing us all of its glory.

Anyway, we are playing on official server settings. Nothing boosted or lowered whatsoever. Just stock settings. We take a solid 4 to 5 hours each building rafts to serve different purposes. Mine being a Dino transportation raft. Scott's being a resources/support beautiful vessel that he used all sorts of slopes and weird angled shit on to make it look rad. And it really did look like a rad ship. And then there was Cam and whatever the fuck he was building.

Then we hear the ever so ominous music in Ark that clearly signifies that it's night time and to put your diaper on cause things might get shitty. So, at this point. My shit isn't finished. Scott's is damn near done. And Cam's has barely started. ➡️

CAPTAIN! LOOK!

A few more words

Oh how I wish we could tame these. So tanky, so fast, so much weight, but so forbidden.

WHHHHYYYYYYY WILDCARD!!!!

We can't even call them extra Leeds-t h i c c -thys....

Yummy whale stake…… rip boat/ low lev megaldon I just tamed

Your boat doesn’t have to be faster than the leed, just faster than your friend’s boat

Part 3.

Scott fucking LOVES Otters. It's his favorite animal. Not just in the game. Real life as well. He named his vessel the S.S. Ottermus. And our plan was to wake up in the morning and fill his boat full of Otter dicks and giggles. However, Arks dark ocean had different plans.

Its about midnight. Pitch fucking black besides shitty red auras from standing torches on these boats we just grinder for hours on just to have floating mediocrity. So we depart.

Got quite a bit of a drive. We're all tired as fuck. Few words have been said besides an occasional friendly insult and some yawns.

We're probably between 3/5 and 4/5 of the way there when suddenly this motherfucker (ALPHUCKING LEED) emerges deadass in front of my raft and bashes the shit out of me. For some reason it loses focus and heads towards Scott. (At this very moment I'm panicking and yelling like a psychotic fuck because I know good god damn well what's about to happen.) ➡️

Warning warning this animal is to op warning warning

Part 2.

So we end up saying fuck it. Let's go to Carno Island and call it a night by the shores. (WHY THE FUCK WE DECIDED TO GO THERE IS BEYOND ME) And at this point Scott's girlfriend joins the game for shits and gigs and to essentially fuck around with us.

So she's low level. Scott and I barely know what the fucks going on. And I'm paranoid as shit when it comes to this game seeing as I've received thy rod and staff on numerous occasions when it seems like I've done nothing but pour my heart, soul and time into this time vortex of a game.

So naturally I ask Cam what the plan is. To which he replies, "We're going to Carno Island and calling it a night on the shores. We'll be fine." I literally couldn't begin to count the amount of times this fucker has said verbatim "We'll be fine" and then immediately get shafted by prehistoric fuckery. But he assures us that we have nothing to worry about.

Now, one thing I will add before shit hits the fan is simply this... ➡️

Pro tip they look small here but they are the biggest creatures on the island map

Part 4.

Scott immediately starts losing his shit. And about 6 seconds after the Alpha Leed quit fucking on me, "Your Tribemate Scotty was killed by" etc.

His raft, after the hours and detail he spent on that was simply shattered in less than 10 seconds by a fucking whale that has an attitude simply because boats annoy it.

His girlfriend starts laughing hysterically because she obviously doesn't understand the gravity of the situation. At this point I'm sure Scott is ready to shove half his controller in his ass and throw his face through the fucking drywall. So Scott's girl is laughing her ass off. Cam is confused as fuck. Scott is having a mental breakdown. And I'm preparing my anus for Alphas return. He smacks the fuck out of me once more, and I'm almost to shore. Trying to be positive I tell everyone to relax and borrow Cams' "We'll be fine" line.

Sike. Alpha had enough and fucked the rest of us systematically.

*admins commands* "killcocksucker"

Pray for us.

So I went to go kill one

It was easy my tribe said...

IT WAS EASY MY TRIBE SIAD

“Why is there an oversized leech trying to get my bout?”

“Ima just- get my argy-“

“Well, might as well save my friend.”

“Hey Do you think that thing is a carnivore?”

“Alright I’m gonna drop you in”

- The Thing My Friend Saw Was The Respawn Screen -

Can only be passively tamed with boats.