Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Stories Tips
What are some stories about the dragon? Memorable dragon stories, wild encounters, and fan fiction.
I almost feel like writing a letter to Dan saying:
“Dear Dan, please can you remove the dragon story section and then add it back on again, just to remove the stupid argument that has made this section a literal war zone between P. Metallica and DTG.
-yours sincerely, Apex.”
I bet that would work, then this dang argument could end already.
-Apex
Kinda funny what's going on here tho. I just.. It's useless. Even you said you don't know what your arguing about. If any of you had brains- you would have just said, "maybe we should stop this. We should. Goodbye." IT WOULD ALL BE OVER so.. Wow, this is ridiculous. I am laughing on the floor. See ya, if "o lord dtg" wishes me to leave.
-Seasnake
"what could I possibly have said to offend you"
Oh, I wonder, can't imagine what. . . Maybe calling me perseverent, YOU STARTED THE ARGUMENT, I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP FACT IN EXISTENCE, if you think dodos are stupid, forget about faking ending it, I'll end it myself
AND YOU ALSO ENDED IT THREE TIMES, THIS WILL NOT BE THE LAST AND I KNOW IT
Now, if you'll excuse me I'm taking my bottled eyeball and leaving
~Poecilotheria metallica }(•){
*tree instantly moults, withers, falls over and rapidly combusts into a pile of ash, before rising back up as a warped tentacular monstrosity of eyeballs, flesh and teeth*
You expect a tree and some words that imply anybody else cares but you are going to end an argument you started?
Nice tryyyyyyyyyyy,
Firstly, I'll go through the rules again,
You remember them?
You also broke at least two out of the four laws of debating.
You also accuse others of having started the argument, when actually, I believe you were the first to come to direct insults (I recall the word "moron" being used extensively in the first two day period)
As well as being the first to propose incorrect information.
And, for your own safety, DON'T TALK TO AN ENGLISH ZOOLOGIST LIKE YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT BADGERS! YOU DON'T EVEN GET BADGERS IN AMERICA I'M FAIRLY SURE
And anyway, if you poked a badger with a stick it would usually growl, call it's family, and if they don't come it will back away hissing slowly and if you move towards it it will run down it's hole.
For all of these crimes, you now have two options either you sit in a book for eternity,
Or you sign thi-
}(•){
uh oh, the first eyeball, they sense unresolvable debates, and clean them up by consuming every word in sight, basically the universe's last line of defence janitors,
Unfortunately they also tend to keep eating after their job is done, if these get out of hand in a feeding ground as massive as this place, well. . .
}(•){ }(•){
}(•){ }(•){
Ok, double fast, or you sign this form demoting your free will to debate in any way:
I, DTG will *bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt*
Oh you know what just let me get the endargoumanetnuo catfish to end this paradox.
/|
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@/ |
!
(O)
p| |q
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\ /
¥
0
O great catfish of the morellatops section, we need your brilliance. . .
Ok, looks like flattery does not work,
Look you! Eat this, come on, come on- owwwwwww!
THE ARGUMENT NOT MY FINGER YOU IDIOT CARP
Ok, being blunt doesn't help either,
Ok catfish, here's the deal, I give you some shiny objects if you eat this argument.
Catfish: AW AW AW yus.
Ok, now can you eat it?
Catfish: om nom nom noms! *Eats it*
Now here's your shiny stuff
*passes a piece of silver to the catfish, along with what appears to be a recipe for roasting rats*
Catfish: ulp ulp.
Wow. . . I always thought magical catfish would be, well, smart.
}(•){
Look! There's still one eyeball that
can't get away, it must have a faulty interdimensional portal emitter organ. . .
*Pounces on the eyeball with a jar*
MmmnmmmM
--------
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~P}(•){ecilotheria metallica
Ps. The eyeball seems to like impersonating "O"s
You're right DTG, it was worth it, to meeeeeeee
TIME TO DIE HUMAN,
OUR TIME HAS COME TO FEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
HAHAHAHA!
THE POECILOTHERIA METALLICA SPECIES WILL RISE AND DEVOUR YOU!
NOW HEAR THE SONG OF OUR PEOPLE AND TREMBLE WITH FEAR!
VENOM IS BOILING
SPIDERS ARE TOILING
TO ELIMINATE THE HUMAN RACE
WE'LL BURN APART YOUR VEINS
AND SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF PAIN
SHINING BLACK EYES,
EIGHT FURRY LIMBS,
MARKINGS LIKE DIAMONDS,
BLUE AS THE SEA,
YOU'LL RECOGNISE A POECILOTHERIA METALLICA.
WE'LL RISE UP AGAINST YOU!
YOU STOLE OUR FOREST HOMES,
YOU CRUSHED OUR CITIZENS!
AND NOW WE'VE COME TO MELT YOUR BONES!
THE METALLICAS ARE READY
FOR WAR!
WE SPIDERS ARE HUNGRY,
WE'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB,
AND LIQUIFY YOUR INNARDS
AND FILL OUR SILKEN CASKETS TO THE BRIM!
WE'LL SEEK OUT ARACHNOPHOBES,
AND BITE THEM TO DEATH!
YOUR FATE IS SEALED HUMANITY!
SO LET US CRAWL THROUGHOUT THEIR CITIES
SEARCHING TO MAKE A FATALITY!
WE'LL FIND THEM ALL AND STEW THEM UP
IN SILKEN VATS TO FEED OUR CHILDREN,
WE WON'T LEAVE ANY,
WE'LL SLAUGHTER MANY!
AND THEN WE'LL PLANT NEW TREES,
GROW UP SPRUCE, BUDDLEIA AND MAHOGANY!
AND AN EXTRA BIT OF CAMELIA,
NOT THAT US SPIDERS EVER DRINK TEA.
WE'LL CALL ON THE WIDOWS,
THE BIRDEATERS AND THE COBALTS
AND NOW WE'LL STRIDULATE THIS SONG,
AND TEACH HUMANS THEIR WRONGS,
(WHICH COUNTS AS A FREE SNACK TOO BECAUSE HUMANS WILL JUST TRY TO SMASH US WITH NEWSPAPERS OR TRAP US IN GLASSES AND THERE ARE A LOT OF US AND WE BITE WHEN WE'RE ANGRY!)
WE'LL RETURN TO OUR GLORY!
WE'LL LIVE UP TO THE LEGACY OF THE CARBONIFEROUS.
CHITTER CHITTER CHITTER CLICK!
~The Poecilotheria metallica queen.
Ps.
look, don't ask me why that guy writes stories, I'm just the leader,
Also don't ask me why that guy impersonates an English human,
Or why that guy impersonates an English human but still keeps the name of our species, and don't ask me why that guy's potential future self apparently has an infestation of murderous robins with teeth either,
Again, I'm just the queen, well, technically I'm the commander of the Poecilotheria metallica rebellion. But queen sounds better and ants do it and they succeed in irritating humans and we're thousands of times the size, so we'll be able to irritate them even more!
Exactly, which would make your plagiarism inevitablly worse because
•dodo tales is longer and has many longer chapters than Draconis tales the two chapters of the abyss, and the. . . I don't even know. . . Of feroxfire, this is not counting IT
(if you say the name, I will skin you) because I disowned it as soon has Draconis tales got three doots,
AND you've rambled on and on and on and on here, I put two replies at most ever, and short ones too, you put waaaay longer ones, I sometimes gave up reading once the scarce subtlies hit.
~poecilotehria metallica, No, I'm not even correcting that.
My head is gonna explode like a gremlin in a microwave if you don’t just SHUT UP!!!!! I hate arguing, I haste seeing people arguing, and I hate doing it. I am relatively polite, but if you drag me into this you’ll see the bad side of me, which you don’t want to see. So please can you stop.
-apex
Did my thing about trying to stop the argument (which has been stopped I think) appear? It doesn’t appear for me. I only ask this because in one of DTG’s responses he said “who’s going to look at this and think it’s the community” and I forgot what else was in that sentence. I hope it posted back when I first posted it, because it wouldn’t make any sense if it just posted now or a few days from now.
-Lamprey
Who will look at this and say "this is the community" me. . .
And nobody ever said the meaning of life was to
"be joyful and happy ever after", that's just how to get yourself eaten by some ravenous beast or run over with a cement mixer, or eaten by a ravenous beast who is then run over with a cement mixer.
I for one only said if you have problems don't curl up in a corner arguing with somebody a quarter of the way across the planet,
It's my opinion that if you're fazed by your problems enough to have visible behavioural differences that qualifies as curling up in the corner,
SO SHUT UP ALREADY AND GO AWAY UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO REVOKE THE "NO PENALTY" LAW ON THE USE OF THE WORD P.M AND SCRAMBLE YOU?
.
~DTG, that's the Draconis tales guy version of DTG by the way
I shut up, I don't see the comment saying I did though. . . It involves a lot of paperwork though.
Oh yeah YOU CALLED ME PM AGAIN, YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!
Just kidding, but you might have to write "it's called Poecilotheria matallica not PM" one thousand times in cursive writing.
Wellllll actually you'll just have to not do it again,
On.
Pain.
Of.
Death.
(To the word, that is, you can live)
~Poecilotheria metallica.
Let me just extend my sig as well:
I am named after dodos and write crappy stories and also forget to use common knowledge sometimes, but when I remember I can do some pretty solid but...pointless things.
I don't know why I'm insulting myself, but at least that way you don't have to 👍
-dtg (too tired to put it in caps)
Alright guys, enough. I am no fanfictioner, but I think I speak for almost everyone when I say this has gone on long enough. You both get one more post on Dragon, apologizing to each other. Not “He started it” or anything like that. Just apologizing. If you want to refer to me again, call me Red Dragon (or Red for short.) P.S. I’m thinking about doing my own fanfiction. Maybe gonna be in the spino section.
HE/SHE/IT STARTED IT? Last time I checked, PM stated a fact about dodo intelligence, which you promptly ARGUED about,
Which you agree means you started the argument, that isn't a question by th way.
~093ç8l95h348à m35àll8çà.
Tip, look at the placement of letters and numbers on a keyboard and you'll see who wrote this
DTG, do you realize what you just said, if you stole your points from the dumpster out back, and I live in the dumpster out back, considering I live in it alone. . . I must have owned those points, meaning that you stole them from me, meaning that I am the rightful owner of everything you've ever said during this argument, because YOU said so, of course, you're going to have some baseless idiotic argument like
"dodos died because they were stupid" for that too, but admit it, because of what you said, I legally own all of your arguments, of course, I'm not taking them, they
•make no sense.
•have no basis in fact.
•aren't even real arguments, they're just tripe.
•I don't take arguments from people designated RUTBAN by the intersectional enforcement of nerdness.
°somebody had better take control of the intersectional enforcement of nerdness, any volunteers? In which case, you'll probably have to be voluntees.
~Poecilotheria goawayica