how to tame a raptor in 3 easy steps.

1. Bola it

2. Tranq it

3. Get eaten by it's dad who has a cool red aura

Raptor:Hmm... Nice tame you got there.... Can I have it?

Me: immediately tames a 150 raptor.

All other wild raptors in the area: AHHH!!!! JOHNNY JUST GOT TAMED!!! KILL HIM!!!

There was this one dodo named Dan and he was my best friend who never died. I gave him a place of honour as my first tame and one day decided to take him for an excursion

CUE GIANT RAPTOR PACK JUMPING OUT OF NOWHERE

RIP Dan

"SHOOOT HER!" "SHOOOOOOOOT HER!"

I needed to make a raptor army and so I was looking for a male to mate but it was so hard to find (I have 8 females)😭😭

Roses are red raptors are coming you should leave your base and start running.

I thought that a group of level 32 dodos and a parasail would kill a raptor when I first started

Player 1- "have you seen that movie about the raptors?"

Player 2- "yes, I actually have Jurassic park."

Player 3- *out of breath* "then, why are we running from one!?!" Player 4- *gets eaten by the raptor whole*

All except 4- "oh, snap!!!"

Player 3- "player 4, are you okay!?!"

4, but muffled-"NO!!!"

*Player 3 passes out*

One and 2- "player 3 wake up!"

The end of chapter one.

A tamed a raptor on scorched earth it died😔😔😔 to a yuty and its carno goons

Alphas are red,

Water is blue, just because your fast, the raptor will still catch you!

Bug:attacks my raptor (green tea)

Green tea and strawberry mikshake(another raptor) and I took that personally

This is why I use flying mounts.

Me: looks like I finally got all the metal needed to craft a longneck rifle

Raptor: hold my beer

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Your dead

Because a Rapter killed You!

ARK PC raptors: hey how y’a doin

ARK Mobile raptors: 1 bite, 2 bite… POUNCE!

Me: *stunlocked* this is why I should’ve gotten a shotgun…

While I was offline, an Alpha Raptor decided to kill my parasaur. R.I.P Peter. Anyways I tried killing it but I realised it had, like, 4000 health and I was like "screw it" and went offline. Hopefully it doesn't attack my dodo.

You ever see a tip on this app and think “I wish I said that.”

Raptor: Hippity, hoppity, your soul is now my property.

Me: huh? What’s that mean?

ARK: You have been killed by a raptor

Months later…

Me: I’m going to avoid that deceitful raptor

*you walk and see a similar raptor*

Raptor: I see you, snack

Me: I’ll kill you

Raptor: I seem to remember you are deliciously worth it

ARK: you were killed by a raptor

Years later…

Me: I can kill that raptor. I’ve got a bola.

*finds raptor*

*raptor runs at me*

*i throw bola, my only one*

*it misses*

Raptor: (laughes) You thought it's that easy?!

ARK: you were killed by a raptor

„What kind of buff can we give raptors to totally annoy newer players?“

Here it is...