Speedy chicken=Raptor

(2024 edition)

How to relieve stress:

1. Mount a raptor

2. POUNCE AND KILL THE ENTIRE DODO POPULATION

These guys make delicious wings

Low levels: Oh look a raptor!

Me: No silly that’s your respawn screen.

Suddenly: AHHH!

Game: Noob was killed by a raptor.

Blood is red,

Violets are blue

Your friend is red,

You are dead too.

To bad they can’t open doors like in Jurassic park

This is based off a poem by shel Silverstein (I think that’s how it’s spelled)

This morning I jumped on my equus and went out for a ride

But some wild raptors chased me and they bit me in the side

So I crawled into a sabertooth’s cave to find a place to hide

But some raiders had me sleeping there and soon they had me tied,

To a pole

And they built a fire under me-I almost cried

Till Helena Walker cut me loose and begged to be my bride

So I said I’d come back Wednesday

But I must admit I lied

So I ran into a jungle swamp but I forgot my tribe

And I stepped into some quicksand

But no matter how I tried, i couldn’t get out,

Until I met a water snake named Clyde

Who pulled me to some cannibals

Who planned to have me fried

But an eagle came and swooped me up

And through the air we flied

But he dropped me in the ocean

A thousand megalodons inside

And you’ll never guess what I did then-

I DIED

I ain't joking I saw a gang of like above 100 level raptors consisted off 3 thry killed 2 spinos infront of my eyes

1) Tame one

2) Level up its speed and melee.

3) Call it AlarmingRate

4) Ride it

5) Kill your enemies at an alarming rate.

One time a alpha raptor spawned right next to my base so I would always avoid it and one day with my trike I was gonna kill it but I was a big mistake my trike past out so I dismounted and I ran back to base and I didnt pay attention to the top of the screen to see if it died but I was like duh it died it was a alpha raptor and my trike past out but in game a couple days later I saw a trike fighting thr alpha raptor and I saw the trike die. It turned out it was my trike I dont know how it was alive e the whole time

I sometimes call these guys “Craptors” I’m not sure why though…

I was shooting a raptor with tranquilizers and I thought it seemed weird that the raptor was taking 10 shots and since I didn't have a spyglass, I kept shooting so i got pissed and charged with my stegosaurus and then when I got closer it said it was an alpha raptor so I ran (I left my stegosaurus since it was no hope). I ran and then left without saving hoping that it didn't save.

One of these glitched through one of my doors and i said “clever girl” in an Australian accent

My dad when he sees honey ( not alcohol honey…just honey…it’s weird I wonder if my ancestor is a bee?)

My Dilophosaurus (Amy my only pet) was determined to tame a raptor. We had a soothing balm and kibble. When we saw this lvl 270 female one we threw a bola at it and I built a wood wall around it quickly. When I realised AMY WAS STUCK INTHE PEN WITH THE RAPTOR! The raptor killed Amy and I was livid. I popped two tranqs with my ascendant bow and left the rest to my ascendant slingshot. When it was out I applied the balm to it and fed the kibble. I ate only one I got it! I named it Rachael. Even Amy was dead, I had its implant and with the help of Rachael literally killing two tickle chickens and an alpha raptor. We revived Amy and we live together to this day.

#Rachaelisthetruealpha

Wait.

Your telling me you DON'T need narcotics?

I've spent to much time in the swamp

-Ira's Aquatics

You:casually walking alpha raptor: *sees you* alpha raptor:GET ‘EM BOYS! Raptors:ATTACK! You: *runs like the wind*

Me: what a nice day in the forest!

Pack of raptors: allow us to introduce ourselves

I am studying them in a pen, its similar to jurassic world raptor pen, I got a pack on wander, I feed, I pet, and I copy n paste dodos and keep them in a extremely tight cage and murder them and toss da corps in da pen and watch the raptors rip it to shreds.(looks in engrams) What is a "Feeding trough", never heard of it.

I once saw a rly Cool red and black one, didn’t pay attention, turned out to be an alpha, killed my tame