Speedy chicken=Raptor

(2024 edition)

Me: *spawns in*

Raptor: oh boy a human! TACKLE FIGHT!!

me: WAIT NO-

Godzillamanz (lvl 1) died to raptor (lvl 10)

Dilo: who are you?

Raptor: I’m you but stronger

Wait.

Your telling me you DON'T need narcotics?

I've spent to much time in the swamp

-Ira's Aquatics

How to relieve stress:

1. Mount a raptor

2. POUNCE AND KILL THE ENTIRE DODO POPULATION

Blood is red,

Violets are blue

Your friend is red,

You are dead too.

Low levels: Oh look a raptor!

Me: No silly that’s your respawn screen.

Suddenly: AHHH!

Game: Noob was killed by a raptor.

I sometimes call these guys “Craptors” I’m not sure why though…

To bad they can’t open doors like in Jurassic park

I ain't joking I saw a gang of like above 100 level raptors consisted off 3 thry killed 2 spinos infront of my eyes

This is based off a poem by shel Silverstein (I think that’s how it’s spelled)

This morning I jumped on my equus and went out for a ride

But some wild raptors chased me and they bit me in the side

So I crawled into a sabertooth’s cave to find a place to hide

But some raiders had me sleeping there and soon they had me tied,

To a pole

And they built a fire under me-I almost cried

Till Helena Walker cut me loose and begged to be my bride

So I said I’d come back Wednesday

But I must admit I lied

So I ran into a jungle swamp but I forgot my tribe

And I stepped into some quicksand

But no matter how I tried, i couldn’t get out,

Until I met a water snake named Clyde

Who pulled me to some cannibals

Who planned to have me fried

But an eagle came and swooped me up

And through the air we flied

But he dropped me in the ocean

A thousand megalodons inside

And you’ll never guess what I did then-

I DIED

My dad when he sees honey ( not alcohol honey…just honey…it’s weird I wonder if my ancestor is a bee?)

1) Tame one

2) Level up its speed and melee.

3) Call it AlarmingRate

4) Ride it

5) Kill your enemies at an alarming rate.

One of these glitched through one of my doors and i said “clever girl” in an Australian accent

You:casually walking alpha raptor: *sees you* alpha raptor:GET ‘EM BOYS! Raptors:ATTACK! You: *runs like the wind*

Me: what a nice day in the forest!

Pack of raptors: allow us to introduce ourselves

My Dilophosaurus (Amy my only pet) was determined to tame a raptor. We had a soothing balm and kibble. When we saw this lvl 270 female one we threw a bola at it and I built a wood wall around it quickly. When I realised AMY WAS STUCK INTHE PEN WITH THE RAPTOR! The raptor killed Amy and I was livid. I popped two tranqs with my ascendant bow and left the rest to my ascendant slingshot. When it was out I applied the balm to it and fed the kibble. I ate only one I got it! I named it Rachael. Even Amy was dead, I had its implant and with the help of Rachael literally killing two tickle chickens and an alpha raptor. We revived Amy and we live together to this day.

#Rachaelisthetruealpha

I once saw a rly Cool red and black one, didn’t pay attention, turned out to be an alpha, killed my tame

Ok so I was looking to tame one of these bad bois, and I see a light speed fast, humongous girl dashing around with a red cloud around her. I died like 20+ times, confused about why this shes impossible to tame. when I googled it, it basically said "it's an untameable alpha you idiot, and you died like 26 times for no purpose and could have avoided it murdering all of your pets" ):/

RIP my billions of fat lystros

I have a male raptor named Saul. For some reason he keeps giving everyone legal advice.