Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips
What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
I walk into work one day, holding back tears and avoiding customers. My supervisor approached me and said ; "is there something wrong brad?" I look upwards slowly knowing how defeated I felt and must have appeared and respond ; "I ... I...dont think you'd understand larry." He walked me to his office when he shut the door behind us I lost it, sobbing now for all that had happened earlier that day. " brad I am here for you , but you have to give me something , a name or something. And if here at work I will take care of it." Quietly I spoke "Raptor... Thats what everyone calls him... He ... " I lost it again . .he proceeded to pull out a Ken doll, holding it he asks me; " Brad, could you show me on the doll, where it is this 'raptor' touched you? so i know what we are dealing with. "EVERYWHERE!" I yelled; " he defiled me for no reason,and haunts me now where I felt safest hes.. Hes a monster!"
There was one time when me and my friends were playing extinction, and we maxed our raptor into speed and melee. I was just about to throw out my chitin armour, when a dilo attacked me. The raptor, being prehistoric sonic the hedgehog, ram in front of me just as I shot my long neck rifle. It didn’t kill the dilo, it killed the raptor. Big tip guys. NEVER UPGRADE YOUR RAPTORS SPEED OVER 200!