Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
I was doing a mission to kill four raptors and it has the beep beep thing when you get close to it so I’m looking at it through my spy glass and got side tracked and then I here’d it getting louder and I was walking to it when it started beeping like a fricking martching band so I look back and I’m dead hope the mission was worth it
I was a level one when all the sudden it tries to attack me I run away and then I run past the Spinosaurus. The Velociraptor he does run away he keeps on running after me but now I've got a Spinosaurus and a velociraptor after me I'm like oh freak man over it if that ever happens to you when you were unlucky just stand still make sure you don't have anything and just let it kill you okay this one is made by a ten-year-old okay just wanted to let you know okay bye bye
I was walking in the jungle with a mating pair of raptors. I was hoping to score some metal deposits when a bright red alpha raptor pounced on my male, killing it in a matter of seconds, then it turns to me. I ran as fast as my midgetslegs can take me, but it was to fast and it killed me. As soon as I returned to the game, I went back to the murder scene to find my female alive and well, so I took it back to camp... where it laid an egg
Power saving mode is supposed to make things look crappy, right? Then how is it that my raptor mortifyingly dead when I turn it off? I mean, with it on, he looks good. He looks like something out of a Jurassic park movie, but when I turn it off, that’s a different story. His eyes disappear completely, like hollow sockets gone. He, for some reason has a bald spot of feathers on the top of his head. And he has only two teeth on his upper left jaw as if he’s been hanging around old hillbillies too much.