Dont worry i preformed an exorcism on melody, no ghosts will possess her :)

-shadow

Hey Apex, early birthday present.

WANNA JOIN THE DISCORD!?

-a now very scared Manticore

Shadow you called? “Pool of lava”-lava

-BREAKING NEWS-

LAMPREY NEWS LIES!?

Lamprey news has lied that my news gives fake information, surprisingly it gives tru information, the info isn’t very informative but it is more just to be FUNNY, I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO MAKE IT MORE INFORMATIVE THANK YOU

Many people want me dead

As I have said before, many people want lolbit dead, it’s a shame I can’t die, that would be nice if I could

It’s almost Halloween!

Many people are preparing for Halloween! With everyone’s powers almost at full peak, fun costumes, and crazier role plays. Update your ark now as the ark fear evolved update was release a few days ago! Just watch out for them Dodorex!

News on Lolbits Pizzeria

Lolbits Pizzeria has five stars and would love for you to come and hang out! Try there pizza, drinks, desserts, games, toys, and performances! Lolbits Pizzeria also host birthday parties! It is advised to leave before ten o clock as the area surrounding is extremely dangerous past ten o clock and you could risk accidentally getting locked inside.

Halloween Facts

Did I you know that the candy man was actually based off a true story about a man who poisoned his sons Halloween candy and framed his sons death on the neighbors and people who gave out the candy!

Well that’s all for now folks,

Always remember,

LOLBIT NEWS IS SUPERIOR, I’m a glitch in the system, cant outrun, better watch your step, if not I’ll come...

-Lolbits

I’ll consider the deal. Perhaps I’m wrong.

-Lamprey

*slams table*

I would like to speak to the WEAKLING lolbit in tangerine dye. Unless they're to scaaaared. Im going to post this in most dyes so she sees it.

-an angry shadow

I’m still writing news, mine has yet to post. If you use google you can see stuff early.

-Lamprey

To the lunatic spider...I AM NOT ANY OF THOSE PEOPLES THEY ARE ALL MALES YET I AM FEMALE, YOU IDIOT.

and I’ll say this once again, I CANT DIE

-Lolbit

Waaaait a second...... lamp news has stopped and is replaced with lolbit news....... they both say that their news is superior..... lamprey??????

-shadow

You haven’t hired anyone, so you just talked to yourself during the “who wants to kill me” segment… Go hire some people for your news, I’ve already hired people to feed the moths and monkeys, and I’ve hired bad grammar ghost to advertise! “Wolbit dubm and ned to leaves now bucuse is stopid and loke got uot now”

Also your news will never compare, don’t even try to say it will!

-Lamprey

I’m surprised your still here, P. Metallica. Anyways, Lolbit has ganged up with apex so now their strong. I have a shotgun ready and everything, so if it all goes bad you know where to go. And also lolbit news is clearly not superior.

-Lamprey

-BREAKING NEWS-

Info on People Trying to Kill Me, I Mean Lolbit

So, several people have threatened to kill me, WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE. HEH HEH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Technical Difficultlys-

News on My Escaped Midnight Snack...I mean Shadow!

That stupid Shadow escaped...and now it’s FREE!? GRRRRRRRRR.

Hopefully it’s living a nice free life

Has Apex Sided with Lolbit yet?

No, Apex has not sided with Lolbit yet, hopefully he will, I need friends

MORE NEWS ON PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL LOLBIT

So, today I am here with Lolbit and she’s going to explain to us why people want to kill her and what they’ve said...

(Lolbit) so who all is trying to kill you?

(Lolbit) as far as I know, it’s Lamprey, Shadow, Cloudy, me, and probably some other people

(Lolbit) why would they want to kill you? You’re great!

(Lolbit) I know! I think it’s because I took over the dyes and kidnapped shadow, but why would they be mad at me for that? WHY!? Oh and because my news is superior while lampreys sucks

(Lolbit) well those are all very dumb reasons to hate you

(Lolbit) I know right!?

(Lolbit) what have they threatened to do to you?

(Lolbit) well, shadow threatened to slap me, but that’d be dumb, Lamprey wants to shoot me with a shotgun, and Cloudy just wants to destroy me and warned me to keep an eye open when I sleep, BUT I DONT SLEEP

(Lolbit) well I hope they don’t kill you but we must move on...

BE CAUTIOUS OF THESE AREAS WHEN TRICK OR TREATING

Be cautious of all dyes

Lolbits Pizzeria

And allo kibble

Why?

BECAUSE LOLBIT LIKES TO EAT CHILDREN AND ADULTS AND TRICK OR TREATERS AND ANYTHING WITH FLESH

Always Remember

LOLBIT NEWS IS SUPERIOR. I’m glitch in through the system, can’t outrun, better watch your step, if not I’ll come...

-Lolbit

HHAHAHAHAAHAHA YOU CANT GET RID OF ME LAMPREY, IM JUST A GHOST, MORE OF A SHADOW REALLY, BUT EITHER WAY IF YOU DESTROY MY SUIT ILL JUST FIND OR MAKE A NEW ONE, EVEN WORSE THAN YOUR NIGHTMARES. IF YOU BURN DOWN MY PIZZERIA, WELL, THERES A CURSE ON IT, IF SOMEONE IS EVER TO TRY TO DESTROY IT, THEYRE SOUL WILL LEAVE THEIR BODY AND POSSESS ONE OF MY ANIMATRONIC SUITS, BUT GESS WHAT!? YOU WOUNT BE ABLE TO DISOBEY ME!

HEH HEH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-LOLBIT

Important!

Lamp News

Something terrible has happened, and it is VERY bad!

A strange entity, “Lolbit” is trying take over the dyes! They have also captured shadow, and “Lolbit” is not safe to be around!

Lolbit has also made his news here, and remeber it is COMPLETELY fake and unsuperior compared to my news!

Do not go to Lolbit’s pizza restaurant, there’s been reports of death of children who stayed there overnight! We must take down this “Lolbit” person, because nobody will own every dye!

Sadly we cannot do moths and monkeys today.

And remember, Lamp News is superior and Lolbit’s news isn’t!

-News reporter Lamprey

I AM SUPERIOR

HEH HEH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Lolbit

Oh great, Universal studios just announced the release of a sequel to the mildly unsuccessful Apex Predator movie. (which did great at the box office because so many people were hyped to see and spent money to go to the cinemas to see it, but didn’t do great in terms of critics response, with the film getting 58% on rotten tomatoes, 46 on Metacritic and 5.3 on IMDB. And a 62% audience score on rotten tomatoes. Damn those mindless action loving idiots who give anything violent a good review…) Anywayyy…. Since the Apex Predator movie is based on the original trilogy of my stories, the sequel will be based on the second trilogy. Which wasn’t great. Ima go sue Universal studios. Also I got hired by some movie company I’ve never heard of to write scripts for them, but they only decided to hire me because someone here told them how some of my stories were good…. WHO DID IT!!!???? NOW I HAVE TO WRITE SCRIPTS ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH…

-apex.

Ok I just discovered that if I convert a cent to the currency in my country it’s equal to 100 pence, which is £1, WHICH IS F***ING USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT BUY ANYTHING WITH £1!!!!!!!

-FURIOUS APEX

Sisters of Battle on radiant is anxiety

-Lamprey

Uuuuu I think I’m pretty nice apart from the occasional death threats. But I’ll just go to my lair filled with dead children.

-Apex

If I gave every viewer a dollar, we’d go bankrupt. Also I said I would make the next news thing in the 25th of October

-Lamprey