I painted my armor yellow and my friends thought it was gold 😂

Wen you put it on the metal part of a gun it makes it look gold

I just randomly looked at tips for dyes and find all these crazy stories from Lamprey, Loki, etc. And I just dont know how you can come up with this stuff. It's great!

Lamp News

Welcome back to Lamp News, and today terrible things have happened, well maybe terrible. So, let’s start with the first few topics which are good things!

Grounded Hot and Hazy update releases on the 20th, and it’s the 19th! You know what that means!

Apex has returned! And this time, he hasn’t committed any crimes yet, but he’s excited to see “The Apex Predator” in theaters on the October 25th!

Well, those are some good topics! Now, here’s an ad!

(Ad) Are you tired of playing with modern day play sets, and want something ancient and unique? Well, why don’t you look at our new toy, “Egypt!” Includes pyramids, Egyptians, shrines, and a few pharaohs like khufu!

Now, for the bad topics.

A murder has been reported, and it seems the victim’s home was burnt down! Who could it have been? Well, we found a clip from a security camera that didn’t burn somehow, but here’s the clip.

(The clip would show HJK with a flamethrower burning the house and breaking in, and then screams and eventually silence)

Oh my! It looks like the suspect is HJK, maybe he should be held in custody by the police until further notice!

And the last bad topic we have, is that someone has threatened to kill me! I was sent a letter, with my full address and information, including the three numbers on the back of my credit card! It was signed “-Crow” who could that be? If Crow kills me, there won’t be any more Lamp News!

Well, that’s everything Folks! Except for moths and monkeys, along with an ad.

(Ad) Tired of stupid Dodo Flakes? Well, we agree! We’ve made something unique, “Dinosaur vegetables” which are vegetables in the shape of dinosaurs! Who wouldn’t want these? Buy now for 9.99, cost may vary depending on vegetable.

Well, time for moths and monkeys!

“Here, we have orangus, the orangutang! Let’s see what he has to say!”

“OO AA OOOOOO AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA”

“He seems to want a banana! Let’s give him a few bananas!”

Well, that’s everything! And remeber, Lamp News is the SUPERIOIR news, HJK news, SN, Nergal news, and every other news outlet will NEVER compare!

-News Reporter Lamprey

Hey lava, if you want you and me can do a colab, though i have no clue what itd be about XD

-Shadow

Lamp news!

Welcome to our news station, this is Lamp News your hearing from.

Apex is nowhere to be seen, so maybe he’s unconscious or hibernating for a few years or something similar. Just don’t expect him to be gone, he’ll return to commit Arson, Shoplifting, Murder, War Crimes, and more! (Whispering) why did I say that so enthusiastically?

We’ve also got news of Grounded’s “Hot and Hazy” update! Go check it out, we aren’t allowed to say anything else besides that and that it’s releasing October 19th!

When will Silksong release? I have the release date, and it’s 202- never mind.

Well, this wouldn’t be a News Station without ads!

(Ad) Tired of eating the wrong cereal and getting salmo- I mean, stomachache? Well look no further! Flame’s and water, now with wind and earth marshmallows!

(Ad) Come watch “The Apex Predator” in theaters, on October 25th! (Scenes from the movie) “ROAR” “HELP!” Few seconds later… Blood on the ground everywhere.

Rated R for Intense Violence and Strong language.

Well, that’s almost everything we have! Luckily for you, it’s time for “Moths and Monkeys!”

(Moths flying everywhere and monkeys swinging from trees) “Look at the beautiful creatures, such a sight to see moths and monkeys living in peace!

That’s all for today, make sure to tune in next time. And remember, we’re the SUPERIOR News Station, HJK and Shadow News will never compare!

-Lamprey

The story is great lamprey!

-lava

Lamprey if you do not make more lamp news I will kill your fish and me and my shadowmane friends will feast

-Shadowmane

I might start up Lamp news by request, and because there might actually be stuff to write about. I’ll try to write it, and also, how much did you guys like Lamp News?

-Lamprey

My birthday is in 10 days, and every day up until my birthday I become more and more powerful, until on my birthday I have the power of a god, better watch out, I might just destroy all the dyes…

-Apex

Ok cool, it doesn’t really matter that- WAIT, YOU HAVE A CHILD? Does the child have a father, or is it just you?

-Lamprey

Lamp news

Welcome back to Lamp news, I know its been a while, but it’s because of been busy with my kingdom, and not only that bad grammar ghost is trying to kill each different employee in a different way! I gave him to Lolbit. Anyways, let’s start with the news!

I’ve got the sea king’s mark, so now I’m the ruler of the ocean! All fish will listen to me, and leviathan! Not too sure about the kraken… That reminds me of the next topic!

I’ve given WWT and her friends a quest, a quest to get a krakens shard! Will the brave WWT and her friends accept this perilous quest and retrieve a kraken’s shard, or will they be cowards and deny the quest? Who knows!

Now for the ads!

(Ad) Ocean ruler Lamprey has made his own cereal, “Kraken’s bite!” What is kraken’s bite you might ask? It has small tentacle marshmallows, and many more sea creature marshmallows, along with healthy ones that aren’t marshmallows, which is every healthy thing in a cereal. Buy now for 9.99 a box! (They come in big boxes)

(Ad) do you want to see other news than Lamp news? Probably not, but there’s other news in silver dye, dunky saddle, and much, much more!

There’s all the ads out of the way, and you should try “Kraken’s bite!”

Now for moths and monkeys!

“Here we have silky, the silk moth! Look at the cute thing! And oh, there’s his friend, Poly the Polyphemus moth!”

Well, that’s all folks, come back later!

-News reporter Lamprey

Ok lava, if we do the coup then you will get a good job in the government

-Manticore

Dont even try to put your disgusting fish in my dye lamprey....

-a shadow who just got kidnapped awhile ago but is back now

I’ll do a collab Lamp. I think it would be fun. Just tell me the rulles and plan.

#FF4L

- The Nazgûl

WHY IS MY DYE BEING DESTROYED!?!? DARK ONE, IM YOUR ALLY REMEMBER?

-Lamprey

Oh, and 2 more things shadow

The underworld can’t be destroyed

Melody might die, why? Well unless Nergal, the god himself, says that it’s ok, all people who were or are in the underworld are bound under an ancient spell. And henceforth without a ghost possessing Melody she will eventually die and be brought back to the underworld.

If u want, I can get Nergal for you

-Manticore

Lamp news (mini edition!)

Welcome to back to Lamp news, and today we have a mini-edition! So let’s get on with it.

Lolbit has given me permission to take over the dyes, so now I have control! Anyways, don’t provoke any sea creatures you see on land, or otherwise they’ll provoke you!

yeah that’s all, this is going to be mini-editions. Usually rare, but they will be posted if something needs to be said right after I just broadcasted news, and it’s only one or two things.

-Lamprey

Oh, little one, your asking for it, my army is being built by the minute, no sleep for restless souls, I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again, I’m offering you a deal, join me, and you can have yellow and your hq back, and I won’t kill you.

You aren’t trusting me enough

Now night four can begin

-Lolbit

NO NO NO! GET OUT OUT OUT! MY NEWS IS SUPERIOR, AND I’LL BURN YOUR PIZZARIA TO THE GROUND AND I’LL BREAK YOUR METAL SUIT!

-Animatronic hating Lamprey