Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Tips & Strategies
-BREAKING NEWS-
LAMPREY NEWS LIES!?
Lamprey news has lied that my news gives fake information, surprisingly it gives tru information, the info isn’t very informative but it is more just to be FUNNY, I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO MAKE IT MORE INFORMATIVE THANK YOU
Many people want me dead
As I have said before, many people want lolbit dead, it’s a shame I can’t die, that would be nice if I could
It’s almost Halloween!
Many people are preparing for Halloween! With everyone’s powers almost at full peak, fun costumes, and crazier role plays. Update your ark now as the ark fear evolved update was release a few days ago! Just watch out for them Dodorex!
News on Lolbits Pizzeria
Lolbits Pizzeria has five stars and would love for you to come and hang out! Try there pizza, drinks, desserts, games, toys, and performances! Lolbits Pizzeria also host birthday parties! It is advised to leave before ten o clock as the area surrounding is extremely dangerous past ten o clock and you could risk accidentally getting locked inside.
Halloween Facts
Did I you know that the candy man was actually based off a true story about a man who poisoned his sons Halloween candy and framed his sons death on the neighbors and people who gave out the candy!
Well that’s all for now folks,
Always remember,
LOLBIT NEWS IS SUPERIOR, I’m a glitch in the system, cant outrun, better watch your step, if not I’ll come...
-Lolbits
More Yellow Coloring Tips
Wen you put it on the metal part of a gun it makes it look gold
I painted my armor yellow and my friends thought it was gold 😂
Lamp News
Welcome back to Lamp News, and today terrible things have happened, well maybe terrible. So, let’s start with the first few topics which are good things!
Grounded Hot and Hazy update releases on the 20th, and it’s the 19th! You know what that means!
Apex has returned! And this time, he hasn’t committed any crimes yet, but he’s excited to see “The Apex Predator” in theaters on the October 25th!
Well, those are some good topics! Now, here’s an ad!
(Ad) Are you tired of playing with modern day play sets, and want something ancient and unique? Well, why don’t you look at our new toy, “Egypt!” Includes pyramids, Egyptians, shrines, and a few pharaohs like khufu!
Now, for the bad topics.
A murder has been reported, and it seems the victim’s home was burnt down! Who could it have been? Well, we found a clip from a security camera that didn’t burn somehow, but here’s the clip.
(The clip would show HJK with a flamethrower burning the house and breaking in, and then screams and eventually silence)
Oh my! It looks like the suspect is HJK, maybe he should be held in custody by the police until further notice!
And the last bad topic we have, is that someone has threatened to kill me! I was sent a letter, with my full address and information, including the three numbers on the back of my credit card! It was signed “-Crow” who could that be? If Crow kills me, there won’t be any more Lamp News!
Well, that’s everything Folks! Except for moths and monkeys, along with an ad.
(Ad) Tired of stupid Dodo Flakes? Well, we agree! We’ve made something unique, “Dinosaur vegetables” which are vegetables in the shape of dinosaurs! Who wouldn’t want these? Buy now for 9.99, cost may vary depending on vegetable.
Well, time for moths and monkeys!
“Here, we have orangus, the orangutang! Let’s see what he has to say!”
“OO AA OOOOOO AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA”
“He seems to want a banana! Let’s give him a few bananas!”
Well, that’s everything! And remeber, Lamp News is the SUPERIOIR news, HJK news, SN, Nergal news, and every other news outlet will NEVER compare!
-News Reporter Lamprey
Hey lava, if you want you and me can do a colab, though i have no clue what itd be about XD
-Shadow
Lamp news!
Welcome to our news station, this is Lamp News your hearing from.
Apex is nowhere to be seen, so maybe he’s unconscious or hibernating for a few years or something similar. Just don’t expect him to be gone, he’ll return to commit Arson, Shoplifting, Murder, War Crimes, and more! (Whispering) why did I say that so enthusiastically?
We’ve also got news of Grounded’s “Hot and Hazy” update! Go check it out, we aren’t allowed to say anything else besides that and that it’s releasing October 19th!
When will Silksong release? I have the release date, and it’s 202- never mind.
Well, this wouldn’t be a News Station without ads!
(Ad) Tired of eating the wrong cereal and getting salmo- I mean, stomachache? Well look no further! Flame’s and water, now with wind and earth marshmallows!
(Ad) Come watch “The Apex Predator” in theaters, on October 25th! (Scenes from the movie) “ROAR” “HELP!” Few seconds later… Blood on the ground everywhere.
Rated R for Intense Violence and Strong language.
Well, that’s almost everything we have! Luckily for you, it’s time for “Moths and Monkeys!”
(Moths flying everywhere and monkeys swinging from trees) “Look at the beautiful creatures, such a sight to see moths and monkeys living in peace!
That’s all for today, make sure to tune in next time. And remember, we’re the SUPERIOR News Station, HJK and Shadow News will never compare!
-Lamprey
The story is great lamprey!
-lava
I just randomly looked at tips for dyes and find all these crazy stories from Lamprey, Loki, etc. And I just dont know how you can come up with this stuff. It's great!
WHY IS MY DYE BEING DESTROYED!?!? DARK ONE, IM YOUR ALLY REMEMBER?
-Lamprey
I might start up Lamp news by request, and because there might actually be stuff to write about. I’ll try to write it, and also, how much did you guys like Lamp News?
-Lamprey
Ok cool, it doesn’t really matter that- WAIT, YOU HAVE A CHILD? Does the child have a father, or is it just you?
-Lamprey