Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the thylacoleo? Funny thylacoleo jokes submitted by ARK players.
In case anyone is concerned, yes these animals are WAY oversized
In real life thylacoleo was no bigger than a small black bear, hardly reaching 350 pounds. However the indigenous people of Australia feared this thing more than any other creature including the 20+ foot long, venomous dragon called megalania
Me: Oh hey, this redwood forest sure is quiet! I love Lost Island.
(Jake) Thyla 1: Oh look an innocent man with a pet Compy, and he’s riding a Dire Bear!
(Sniper) Thyla 2: What do you think boys, should we say hello?!?
(Kevin) Thyla 3: Visible Confusion*
The 3 Thylas quietly climb down the tree from branch to branch. Suddenly, Kevin falls 20 feet down the tree behind the man.
Kevin: Huh, my hurt heads.
Jake and Sniper: GOD F******G DAMN IT KEVIN WHY DO YOU RUIN EVERY HUNT!!!?!??!?
Man: Walks away after staring at Kevin.
Kevin runs after the man and snatches him by the pants.
Hey guys, did I do good?
Jake and Sniper: Eh, we got food, who cares anymore.
Kevin: Okey Dokey, I will bring up the food!
Jake and Sniper: When will he learn to hunt?
If u think this thing’s pounce radius is small then ur wrong
When I was trying to tame a giga I had to go through the redwoods
So basically a thyla tried to pounce me and as soon as I saw the giga the thyla had sniped me from the redwoods to the volcano. (Long story short I died. To lava. So I got a few grapples and got my stuff because I am not getting more stuff and another rhynio. I hope u guys liked this story
Goodbyeeee