Taming a Pteranodon : “Easy, no sweat.”

Taming a Argentavis : “Hmm, still easy.”

Taming a Dimophodon then suddenly get attacked by swarm of them : “Oh my lord.”

Taming a Quetzal : “BRO WHERE IS THIS GIANT FLYING LIZARD!?!”

Taming an Astrodelphis : “Aww who’s a good dolphing, yes you are.”

Taming a uhh…Flying whale or something like that : “Dang this guy huge!”

Taming a Rhyniognatha : “Oh my f###### god dude this is litteraly straight up gore WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT BURTS OUT FROM MY DINO?!?”

Ark: let’s make a new animal

Worker: ok

Ark: let’s make it fly

Worker: ok

Ark: and spit acid

Worker: got it

Ark: and can land on water

Worker: check

Ark: and can fly underwater

Worker: this is getting out of hand

Ark: shush. And have three different types of acid

Worker: ok what types

Ark: rapid fire

Worker: ok

Ark: giant bombs

Worker: are you sure about this

Ark: be quiet. And did I mention that it can freeze other Dino’s and players

Worker: this thing is over powered

Ark: I know and the last acid spit is a guided missile

Worker: but sir

Ark: let me finish

Worker: ok

Ark: and pick up giant Dino’s and flyers

Worker: I’m so sorry players

Ark: I’m not finished and let’s call it the rhynio

Worker: is it tameable

Ark: yes

Worker: how do they tame it

Ark: you have to kill the rhynio and grab a little ball thing and feed it to your Dino but before you do you have to find another one and trap it and get its health down to ten percent and then it will impregnate you’re Dino

Worker: oh my goodness

Ark: shh and then your Dino will have cravings that could be almost anything

Like a giga egg

Worker: are you done

Ark: no. And when it’s ready it explodes your Dino and it’s yours

Worker: these players are going to suffer

Ark: no there fine

Worker: ok. But are you sure you want to do this

Ark: positive

Worker: ok. And done now when I click this button it will kick everyone out of the game

Ark: do it

Worker: ok

Player 1: noooo

*Logs back in lost island*

Player1: what the heck is that

Player 2: ark made a new Dino cool

Player1 has died

Player 2 has died

Player1s argy has died

Player2s argy has died

Player1s Rex has died

Player2s Rex has died

Player1s wyvern has died

Player2s wyvern has died

Player1s rock golem has died

Player2s dodo has died

Player2: now you’ve done it

Player1: uh oh that thing is dead now

Wild rhynio1 has died

Wild rhynio2 has died

Wild rhynio 3 has died

Wild rhynio4 has died

Wild rhynio 5 has died

Worker: I feel like dodos are more powerful then the rhynio

The end

Dev1: Let’s make a bug!

Dev2: You mean, like a grasshopper?

Dev1: No, silly! A Rhyniognatha!

Dev2: A what?

Dev1: A RHYNIOGNATHA!!

Dev2: What even is that?

Dev1: Idk, some sort of wasp-dragonfly-mosquito thing.

Dev2: Huh. Ok.

Dev1: Give it the same health and damage a rex has.

Dev2: Got it.

Dev1: Give it chunky arms to pick up vaults and really big creatures.

Dev2: You know, all our players would have loved having this back before you finally let me add cryopods.

Dev1: Shut up and don’t question my evil plans!

Dev1: Give it resin that blocks damage and sticks creatures and players in place.

Dev2: Ok, this is getting a bit crazy again.

Dev1: Oh, and don’t forget its crazy weight and speed, that Omni-directional movement thing that the tapejara has, and make it swim too.

Dev2: Huh? Why?

Dev1: Also, I want there to be HUNDREDS of them in the swamp, but only on The Island and Lost Island.

Dev2: Buddy, you gotta stop making me do crazy stuff to our game.

Dev1: Keep saying that and I’ll make another insane new boss.

Dev2: Ok, fine! Rhynio-something-something done I guess.

Dev1: Great, now go learn Unreal Engine 5 for me.

Dev2: Uh, ok… Why?

Dev1: We’re gonna kill EVERYONE’S PCs…

Ark devs before adding this creature be like:

Dev1:we need a new creature!

Dev2:k

Dev1:how about an Australia theme?

Dev2:sure!

Dev1:maybe a bug 🐜?

Dev2:got it.

Dev1:it should shoot projectiles!

Dev2:ummmm…

Dev1:how about it shooting resin?

Dev2:okay…

Dev1:it will be able to scream.

Dev2:you sure-

Dev1:to tame it it has to lay eggs in one of your creatures!

Dev2:what is this creature?

Dev1:it will be able to carry huge creatures and structures.

Dev2:I don’t think this is a g-

Dev1:shut up!

Dev2:sorry…

Dev1:it will have strong stats and a passenger seat and really good movement.

Dev3,4 and 5:do we have any say in this?

Dev1:no

Dev2:are you done?

Dev1:yeah

Thanks for reading! :D