Dododex
Ark: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator

Dododex
Ark: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the reaper? Funny reaper jokes submitted by ARK players.
"When half dead, remember to turn the tables and rape your opponent" -Reaper Queen
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
So does it pay child support or...?
Once the reaper queen impregnated me I was thinking if I wanted a boy or a girl popping out of my mangina
Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.
Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.
And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying
Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.
And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying
I spawn in the "easiest" area and i walk a litte and what do you know i get raped by a reaper king and some nameless!
when your playing with your friends and hear a loud scream and then a death message
Literally you get raped
-Bonerat
-Bonerat
Roses are red violets are blue and my line of defense is to rape you dead
You find a hot reaper qeeen nearly kill it then let it rape you. Easy!
Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading
In arkmerica you rape the queen in arkiet Russia the queen rapes YOU
This goes through a reaper queens head" oh I'm about to die. I'll get this persion pregnent!"
To tame it has to impregnate you, nice ark
Minus everything of reaper queen except the r and add ca di b I knew it the reaper queen is the ugly ass reancarnate of cardi b
It's sad knowing that the only children I'll ever have are giant radioactive lizards that were the result of another adult giant radioactive lizard queen raping me.
Reaper queen, more like raper queen.
I wonder where the inspiration for this came from...
I think the reson that she impregnates you is bc she a:wants that more reapers life
B:she thinks you are a good warrior and should get pregnant that the baby gets strong
B:she thinks you are a good warrior and should get pregnant that the baby gets strong
Oh, and there are no painkillers for this kind of pregnancy. There are no hands to break and you can't blame the impregnater because she's several thousand feet underground laughing at the pain you are going through.