Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Companion

Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the reaper? Funny reaper jokes submitted by ARK players.
Ark dev 1: hey let’s make a new creature
Ark dev 2: sure, what do you want to implement?
Ark dev 1: let’s take the allosaur idea, I’d like that
Ark dev 2: continue
Ark dev 1: let’s make it scary as heck
Ark dev 2: ok
Ark dev 1: let’s give it the roar of a demon
Ark dev 2: uhh.. ok
Ark dev 1: let’s make it so hard to tame that no one wants it
Ark dev 2: maybe this is a litt..
Ark dev 1: hush. Let’s make players have to get pregnant to tame it
Ark dev 2: oh well…
Ark dev 1: let’s cover it in spikes
Ark dev 2: this is getting out of hand…
Ark dev 1: let’s make it shoot weird ball things from a weird tail
Ark dev 2: I guess
Ark dev 1: let’s make it tunnel under ground an attack when you least expect
Ark dev 2: oh dear…
Ark dev 1: let give it ridiculous amounts of health
Ark dev 2: is that it?
Ark dev 1: yup
Ark dev 2: were going to get so much crap for this…
Up if this was funny!
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
Me:I'm going to get a rock Drake.
Reaper:No,your getting a child!
Me:Help!
Everyone on the server:Did y'all hear something?
Me:*makes a entire room for the birth*
Me:Still help!
*Reaper jumps out of my chest*
*Goes back to the cave*
Me:Miss reaper queen,can you pay for chi-
*Kills me and I respawn at base*
Reaper baby:Hello mortal.
Me:Hello ankle bitter.
Reaper baby: ...
Reaper baby:Excuse me?!.
My friend:Ooo can I ride it?
Me: I guess.
My friend:*Kills it*
Me:Noooo ankle bitter!
-Thylcolo huntress,thanks for reading this I had much fun and I hope you have the same!R.i.p ankle bitter my reaper.
Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading
Lead dev: “Okay, we need some dinosaur taming strategies”
Dec 1: “Feeding it literal buildings”
Dev 2: “Giving dead corpses of your pets to it”
Dec 3: “Having it impregnate you”
All: “Wait wha-“
Dev 2: “what the frick were you watching?”
Dec 4: “How about we stick to normal taming strategies?”
lead dev: “Your fired”