Ark dev 1: hey let’s make a new creature

Ark dev 2: sure, what do you want to implement?

Ark dev 1: let’s take the allosaur idea, I’d like that

Ark dev 2: continue

Ark dev 1: let’s make it scary as heck

Ark dev 2: ok

Ark dev 1: let’s give it the roar of a demon

Ark dev 2: uhh.. ok

Ark dev 1: let’s make it so hard to tame that no one wants it

Ark dev 2: maybe this is a litt..

Ark dev 1: hush. Let’s make players have to get pregnant to tame it

Ark dev 2: oh well…

Ark dev 1: let’s cover it in spikes

Ark dev 2: this is getting out of hand…

Ark dev 1: let’s make it shoot weird ball things from a weird tail

Ark dev 2: I guess

Ark dev 1: let’s make it tunnel under ground an attack when you least expect

Ark dev 2: oh dear…

Ark dev 1: let give it ridiculous amounts of health

Ark dev 2: is that it?

Ark dev 1: yup

Ark dev 2: were going to get so much crap for this…

Up if this was funny!

I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral

(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)

- The one and only HazmatGaming209

So does it pay child support or...?

Remember when ark had dinosaurs.

This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a player😂😂😂

Me:I'm going to get a rock Drake.

Reaper:No,your getting a child!

Me:Help!

Everyone on the server:Did y'all hear something?

Me:*makes a entire room for the birth*

Me:Still help!

*Reaper jumps out of my chest*

*Goes back to the cave*

Me:Miss reaper queen,can you pay for chi-

*Kills me and I respawn at base*

Reaper baby:Hello mortal.

Me:Hello ankle bitter.

Reaper baby: ...

Reaper baby:Excuse me?!.

My friend:Ooo can I ride it?

Me: I guess.

My friend:*Kills it*

Me:Noooo ankle bitter!

-Thylcolo huntress,thanks for reading this I had much fun and I hope you have the same!R.i.p ankle bitter my reaper.

Aren’t you supposed to impregnate her

Baby Reaper: Dad how did you meet mom. Me: go ask her. Reaper Queen: I brutally r- your father till he got 1 hp Baby Reaper: WHAT THE FU-

Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.

Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.

And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying

Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!

Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.

(Gets really close)

Me: okay here we go

Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u

Me: what did u say

Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD

Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!

5 year later

Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN

Reaper queen: The entire server

10 years later

Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here

Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading

So first she kills my tames, impregnates me against my will, then she doesn’t even pay for the diapers or child support

It definitely has it's Mother's looks!

Nah the reaper got a uno reverse instead of HER getting pregnant it’s YOU getting pregnant

Lead dev: “Okay, we need some dinosaur taming strategies”

Dec 1: “Feeding it literal buildings”

Dev 2: “Giving dead corpses of your pets to it”

Dec 3: “Having it impregnate you”

All: “Wait wha-“

Dev 2: “what the frick were you watching?”

Dec 4: “How about we stick to normal taming strategies?”

lead dev: “Your fired”

You should always play chess with a reaper queen by your side, cuz everytime you lose your king you get “another one” 💀

On aberration, no one can hear you scream.

Symbiont + raptor = reaper!

A helpful tip should include more words

Getting kicked in the balls still hurts more

Than giving birth to a demon

Rockwell and a Rex were more then friends…🤨

when your playing with your friends and hear a loud scream and then a death message