Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator

Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the reaper? Funny reaper jokes submitted by ARK players.
A level 200 reaper full imprint can solo the megapiticus
I saw this wanting to kill it to see what it dropped then I put it in a pen so it was and easy kill but when I got close I got impregnated by this thing then I looked up what do reaper queens do to you then I saw...
Run. Just run. Take your legs and run as far away as possible.
Reaper AWW MAN SO BACK IN THE RED ZONE WITH A ROCK DRA DRA DRA DRAKE BITEING FROM SIDE TO SIDE (later in song) OH NO ITS YOU AGAIN I CAN NEVER FORGET THAT TAIL (thatβs all folks)
FBI open up GET ON THE GROUND NOw
Getting kicked in the balls still hurts more
Than giving birth to a demon
Than giving birth to a demon
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
Apex predator
Chapter one
The moon shone down on the darkened redwoods, and a lone survivor wondered through the immense forest. The survivor was armed with a crossbow, and had a dead archaeopteryx slung over his shoulder. A dark sabertooth walked beside him. Suddenly, he heard an ear splitting screech, one like nothing he had ever heard before, and a terrifying creature leapt towards him! The survivor screamed, as the creature flung aside his crossbow, then there was the horrible sound of choking as the creature grabbed his neck and sqeezed tight. The survivors neck was torn open and his body dropped to the ground, the sabertooth tried to run, but the creature was much faster, it pinned it down, and shredded with its claws. The creature screeched victoriously, and began to feast on their corpses
Chapter one
The moon shone down on the darkened redwoods, and a lone survivor wondered through the immense forest. The survivor was armed with a crossbow, and had a dead archaeopteryx slung over his shoulder. A dark sabertooth walked beside him. Suddenly, he heard an ear splitting screech, one like nothing he had ever heard before, and a terrifying creature leapt towards him! The survivor screamed, as the creature flung aside his crossbow, then there was the horrible sound of choking as the creature grabbed his neck and sqeezed tight. The survivors neck was torn open and his body dropped to the ground, the sabertooth tried to run, but the creature was much faster, it pinned it down, and shredded with its claws. The creature screeched victoriously, and began to feast on their corpses
This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a playerπππ
REAPER... AWW MAN. So we in the mine have th- Hol' up, wuzzat? OH GOD JESU-
You were killed by a reaper lvl OVER 9000!
You were killed by a reaper lvl OVER 9000!
So does it pay child support or...?
It looks like your sister saying "IT'S MY TURN ON THE XBOX"
So dose it pay child support or...?
Ok, ummm, just saying, the many people who liked apex predator chapter one, the story continues in reaper story section, then Rex, then broodmother, then rock elemental, then deathworm, then wyvern, then ravager, and then seeker.
-Apex (the person who wrote apex predator)
-Apex (the person who wrote apex predator)
Once the reaper queen impregnated me I was thinking if I wanted a boy or a girl popping out of my mangina
Law and order: special victims unit
Scary meter ravengers 2 out of ten. basilisks 4 out of ten nameless 6 out of ten. Rockwell 7out of ten reapers 11out of ten. getting impregnated by a reaper 21 out of ten. Baby reaper bursting out of your chest 100 out of ten.
Imagine trying to kill one then accidentally getting impregnated
Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.
Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.
And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying
Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.
And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying
REAPER AWWW MAAAN
..........I should leave
..........I should leave