Me: forgets bulldog

Reaper: What are you doing step-bro

I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral

(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)

- The one and only HazmatGaming209

If the queen impregnates you than aren’t you the reaper king?🤔

So does it pay child support or...?

This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a player😂😂😂

Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!

Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.

(Gets really close)

Me: okay here we go

Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u

Me: what did u say

Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD

Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!

5 year later

Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN

Reaper queen: The entire server

10 years later

Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here

Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading

Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.

Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.

And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying

Type in xenomorph and this shows up

Dev1 Let’s make a new creature for aberration

Dev2 Ok tell me more

Dev1 Ok make it like a rex

Dev2 Ok

Dev1 And you know the movie aliens make it like that also

Dev2 You sure?

Dev1 Ok now make it that there are queens and kings

Dev2 Umm ok

Dev1 Make them genderless

Dev2 But there are kin…

Dev1 Shush let me focus. Throw the queens in the red zone

Dev2 (doubtfully) Ok

Dev1 Now put the kings up at the surface

Dev2 You sure man

Dev1 Yup. Now make them have armour that makes them basically invincible

Dev2 Are you sure abo…

Dev1 And make it so to tame you have to get a queen below 10% of its max health so it can impregnate you with its child

Dev2 Umm ok

Dev1 Now make it so you have to gain seventy five levels while its is still in your survivor

Dev2 Is that it?

Dev1 yup now show me my creation

Dev2 Are you sure your ready for it

Dev1 Yup for sure

Dev2 Ok I’m calling it the Reaper

when your playing with your friends and hear a loud scream and then a death message

So first she kills my tames, impregnates me against my will, then she doesn’t even pay for the diapers or child support

When i see this guy running at me and im playing with a freind.

Bola my freind

Me.sorry i just dont want to be pregnate

On aberration, no one can hear you scream.

Law and order: special victims unit

Getting kicked in the balls still hurts more

Than giving birth to a demon

girls: boys can’t give birth

male ark players: think again

This goes through a reaper queens head" oh I'm about to die. I'll get this persion pregnent!"

REAPER AWWW MAAAN

..........I should leave

To tame it has to impregnate you, nice ark

Kid you don’t want to know how I met your mother