I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral

(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)

- The one and only HazmatGaming209

So does it pay child support or...?

**“So I’m on Aberration, minding my own business, when a subterranean Reaper King decides to pop up like ‘hey bestie.’ I start blasting him, everything’s normal, everything’s fine. Then my brain goes: ‘Use the crossbow.’

My brain did NOT go: ‘Check your ammo.’

So I pull the trigger and instead of a bolt, I fire a GRAPPLING HOOK straight into this radioactive demon‑worm and immediately zip‑line myself onto his FACE.

We both just… froze.

Five full seconds of ‘…did that just happen?’

Me and this Reaper King sharing the same confused brain cell.

The game glitches, I’m stuck on him like a tick on a dog, and he’s just standing there like he’s waiting for tech support. Eventually I wiggle free, reload REAL ammo, and we both silently agree to pretend that entire interaction never happened so we can kill each other like civilized enemies.

He put up a good fight.

But I won.

And we will never speak of our awkward little bonding moment again.”**

This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a player😂😂😂

Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!

Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.

(Gets really close)

Me: okay here we go

Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u

Me: what did u say

Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD

Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!

5 year later

Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN

Reaper queen: The entire server

10 years later

Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here

Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading

Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.

Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.

And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying

To me when it roars it kinda sounds like it's choking and wheezing at the same time

when your playing with your friends and hear a loud scream and then a death message

So first she kills my tames, impregnates me against my will, then she doesn’t even pay for the diapers or child support