I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral

(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)

- The one and only HazmatGaming209

If the queen impregnates you than aren’t you the reaper king?🤔

So does it pay child support or...?

This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a player😂😂😂

Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!

Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.

(Gets really close)

Me: okay here we go

Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u

Me: what did u say

Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD

Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!

5 year later

Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN

Reaper queen: The entire server

10 years later

Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here

Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading

Imagine sitting around a table not knowing who has it in them…then BAM!!! Alien: Asa…

Bros code name on the ark wiki is xenomorph (go check it out I swear I’m not lying)

girls: boys can’t give birth

male ark players: think again

So first she kills my tames, impregnates me against my will, then she doesn’t even pay for the diapers or child support