Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
I was walking in the jungle with a mating pair of raptors. I was hoping to score some metal deposits when a bright red alpha raptor pounced on my male, killing it in a matter of seconds, then it turns to me. I ran as fast as my midgetslegs can take me, but it was to fast and it killed me. As soon as I returned to the game, I went back to the murder scene to find my female alive and well, so I took it back to camp... where it laid an egg
Power saving mode is supposed to make things look crappy, right? Then how is it that my raptor mortifyingly dead when I turn it off? I mean, with it on, he looks good. He looks like something out of a Jurassic park movie, but when I turn it off, that’s a different story. His eyes disappear completely, like hollow sockets gone. He, for some reason has a bald spot of feathers on the top of his head. And he has only two teeth on his upper left jaw as if he’s been hanging around old hillbillies too much.
No matter how many times you yell GTFO of me, they won't. It also doesn't help if you say it politely. Please with sprinkles and cherries on top actually makes it worse. Also doesn't help if you're running away screaming "no no no no please go away i just re spawned god i hate you." They will literally chase you until you die of thirst, starvation, or just until your stamina is gone. Also tall rocks only work when you couldn't get on them from the ground. If you can get on it, so can they. Arrow up so everyone knows just to go prone and just die when they see a raptor