Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Tips & Strategies
no sense poem ig
He thicc
He protec
He climbs on da wall
And poops on your mouth
And gibs you rabies
Like a spider does
On a Saturday
You can’t pet him
Cause he will eat your fingers off
But you can ride his
Poison infected back
But most importantly
He a big thic poisonous sus infection lizard
And if u disaggre
He will find u hous
And eat u
With its toes
And mush you
Into a mushroom soup
He eat da rock
And da pollution
So don’t trust him
Or it da last thing u will do
More Megalania Funny Tips
Have you ever wanted your own ginormous monitor lizard that can transmit rabies and climb your walls? Well TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY! Knock one of these WONDERFUL komodo dragons out and shove some of that wonderful baryonyx kibble down its bacteria infected mouth and you've got yourself a GIANT MONITOR LIZARD!
Recommend a 100+Gallon tank and proper UV and Heating (preferably over 100watts). Handling is not suggested, but riding definitely is.
Scare the living HELL out of your roomate by leaving your giant lizard on your ceiling! Or have your mother come home to a RABIFIED surprise!
CALL NOW and get YOUR VERY OWN BRED MUTATED FULLY IMPRINTED GIANT MONITOR PARKOUR LIZARD!
(Amazing tame. Found clung to walls in caves.)
When we first encountered these me and my friend is like:
Me: oo a Moschops!
Friend: hey why is it appro- AAAH-
Friend contracts Mega Rabies
Me: WHAT Happend?
Friend: get tf away from me I have COVID-20
Me: ohh megalania huh...- oh shi-
I contract Mega Rabies
Me: well... uhh just eat narcotics and hope we live lol
We both lived and went on our day
Have good day/night and press the "I like it" button if you want to