You:trying to tame a reaper

Ravagers: and I took that personally

Last time I need some xp on my drake so I found explorer note and 145 reaper Queen (Evolution Event with x2 xp was on) I almost killed it but my bulbdog was

On attack my target and he killed the reaper and he got like 40 lvls... and my drake got only 2...

Baby Reaper: Dad how did you meet mom. Me: go ask her. Reaper Queen: I brutally r- your father till he got 1 hp Baby Reaper: WHAT THE FU-

So...does the reaper queen have to pay child support or am I going to have to show my son a magic trick and...dissapear

Dev1 Let’s make a new creature for aberration

Dev2 Ok tell me more

Dev1 Ok make it like a rex

Dev2 Ok

Dev1 And you know the movie aliens make it like that also

Dev2 You sure?

Dev1 Ok now make it that there are queens and kings

Dev2 Umm ok

Dev1 Make them genderless

Dev2 But there are kin…

Dev1 Shush let me focus. Throw the queens in the red zone

Dev2 (doubtfully) Ok

Dev1 Now put the kings up at the surface

Dev2 You sure man

Dev1 Yup. Now make them have armour that makes them basically invincible

Dev2 Are you sure abo…

Dev1 And make it so to tame you have to get a queen below 10% of its max health so it can impregnate you with its child

Dev2 Umm ok

Dev1 Now make it so you have to gain seventy five levels while its is still in your survivor

Dev2 Is that it?

Dev1 yup now show me my creation

Dev2 Are you sure your ready for it

Dev1 Yup for sure

Dev2 Ok I’m calling it the Reaper

It's sad knowing that the only children I'll ever have are giant radioactive lizards that were the result of another adult giant radioactive lizard queen raping me.

Once the reaper queen impregnated me I was thinking if I wanted a boy or a girl popping out of my mangina

To tame a reaper you have to let it...... Impregnate you..

Lead dev: “Okay, we need some dinosaur taming strategies”

Dec 1: “Feeding it literal buildings”

Dev 2: “Giving dead corpses of your pets to it”

Dec 3: “Having it impregnate you”

All: “Wait wha-“

Dev 2: “what the frick were you watching?”

Dec 4: “How about we stick to normal taming strategies?”

lead dev: “Your fired”

The question isn't: How strong can we make a reaper army? It's: Aight, who's gonna get impregnated?

Bulbpet: I ran out of battery

Me:ok we'll stop here.

Reaper queen: hello,

How are you?

It just impregnates you and leaves you. It’s a gold digger.

I didn't recall asking to be a surrogate father when I woke up this morning.

IT CAN JUMP!?!?!?!? I'm sorry WHAT?

Once you go reaper you cant go deeper.

Now kids, I’m going to tell you about the “facts of life...”

It looks like your sister saying "IT'S MY TURN ON THE XBOX"

Ok… ok… so the original form of taming in ark was to knock something out and shove food in its mouth (Like for raptors), then there is stealing the egg (like for wyverns), both of these im cool with. But this… this is… well… someone at wildcard wasn’t totally sane when thinking of this.😐😑

I got a pink reaper named toast.

Me:I am going to fly on my new lightning wyv today

Reaper queen:hello

Me:hi?

Reaper queen:time for your new kid

Me:can you at least pay chi-

Reaper already gone to do it with another unfortunate person