Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Tips & Strategies
If ur playing as a male character, this should instantly kill u, men don’t have wombs to hold the baby. So you would pretty much die to vital organs blowing up, blood loss, and if you survive that, bacterial infection. Even female players, what is the baby feeding off of?
…In a world of people being cloned from different time periods into simulated ecosystems with extinct and mythical creatures, THIS is what I think is the most far-fetched. 🤔
More Reaper Funny Tips
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
**“So I’m on Aberration, minding my own business, when a subterranean Reaper King decides to pop up like ‘hey bestie.’ I start blasting him, everything’s normal, everything’s fine. Then my brain goes: ‘Use the crossbow.’
My brain did NOT go: ‘Check your ammo.’
So I pull the trigger and instead of a bolt, I fire a GRAPPLING HOOK straight into this radioactive demon‑worm and immediately zip‑line myself onto his FACE.
We both just… froze.
Five full seconds of ‘…did that just happen?’
Me and this Reaper King sharing the same confused brain cell.
The game glitches, I’m stuck on him like a tick on a dog, and he’s just standing there like he’s waiting for tech support. Eventually I wiggle free, reload REAL ammo, and we both silently agree to pretend that entire interaction never happened so we can kill each other like civilized enemies.
He put up a good fight.
But I won.
And we will never speak of our awkward little bonding moment again.”**
Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading