I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral

(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)

- The one and only HazmatGaming209

If the queen impregnates you than aren’t you the reaper king?🤔

So does it pay child support or...?

This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a player😂😂😂

Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!

Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.

(Gets really close)

Me: okay here we go

Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u

Me: what did u say

Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD

Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!

5 year later

Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN

Reaper queen: The entire server

10 years later

Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here

Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading

Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.

Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.

And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying

girls: boys can’t give birth

male ark players: think again

I play on a cluster with custom spawns. Reapers spawn in the swamps rarely

I always name myself reaper diddy and tame as many reapers as I can

So first she kills my tames, impregnates me against my will, then she doesn’t even pay for the diapers or child support

when your playing with your friends and hear a loud scream and then a death message