Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Me:I'm going to get a rock Drake. Reaper:No,your getting a child! Me:Help! Ev…
Me:I'm going to get a rock Drake.
Reaper:No,your getting a child!
Me:Help!
Everyone on the server:Did y'all hear something?
Me:*makes a entire room for the birth*
Me:Still help!
*Reaper jumps out of my chest*
*Goes back to the cave*
Me:Miss reaper queen,can you pay for chi-
*Kills me and I respawn at base*
Reaper baby:Hello mortal.
Me:Hello ankle bitter.
Reaper baby: ...
Reaper baby:Excuse me?!.
My friend:Ooo can I ride it?
Me: I guess.
My friend:*Kills it*
Me:Noooo ankle bitter!
-Thylcolo huntress,thanks for reading this I had much fun and I hope you have the same!R.i.p ankle bitter my reaper.
More Reaper Funny Tips
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading
me:"yes finally I'm going to have enough food for my baby spino but I don't know how much health it has so give me a second let me use my magnifying glass"
Reaper Queen:"yes come closer hehehe..."
Me:"dude what are you laughing about"
Reaper Queen:"nothing"
Me:"anyways let me just hold on what are you doing what are you doing put that thing away AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Reaper King:"wait what's happening to me ahhhhh!!!....."
me:"oh my goodness what have you done I'm a man!!!!!"
|_ 5 hours later_|
Now I have to take care of this baby reaper