I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral

(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)

- The one and only HazmatGaming209

So does it pay child support or...?

If the queen impregnates you than arenโ€™t you the reaper king?๐Ÿค”

**โ€œSo Iโ€™m on Aberration, minding my own business, when a subterranean Reaper King decides to pop up like โ€˜hey bestie.โ€™ I start blasting him, everythingโ€™s normal, everythingโ€™s fine. Then my brain goes: โ€˜Use the crossbow.โ€™

My brain did NOT go: โ€˜Check your ammo.โ€™

So I pull the trigger and instead of a bolt, I fire a GRAPPLING HOOK straight into this radioactive demonโ€‘worm and immediately zipโ€‘line myself onto his FACE.

We both justโ€ฆ froze.

Five full seconds of โ€˜โ€ฆdid that just happen?โ€™

Me and this Reaper King sharing the same confused brain cell.

The game glitches, Iโ€™m stuck on him like a tick on a dog, and heโ€™s just standing there like heโ€™s waiting for tech support. Eventually I wiggle free, reload REAL ammo, and we both silently agree to pretend that entire interaction never happened so we can kill each other like civilized enemies.

He put up a good fight.

But I won.

And we will never speak of our awkward little bonding moment again.โ€**

This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a player๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!

Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.

(Gets really close)

Me: okay here we go

Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u

Me: what did u say

Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD

Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!

5 year later

Me: Honey, Iโ€™m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN

Reaper queen: The entire server

10 years later

Me: queen I need the child support, weโ€™re struggling here

Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading

Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.

Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.

And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying

To me when it roars it kinda sounds like it's choking and wheezing at the same time

when your playing with your friends and hear a loud scream and then a death message

So first she kills my tames, impregnates me against my will, then she doesnโ€™t even pay for the diapers or child support