Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Tips & Strategies
Me: oo free xp les goo
Also me: try to kill*
Reaper queen: roses r red, violets r blue, my bed has room for 2
Me: uh nty ima kill u now-
Reaper queen: you have no choice. *sniff sniffy sniff*
Me:what-
Reaper queen: *YOINK*
Me:wait wha- AAAAA WHAT R U DOUNG TO ME STOP AAAAAAAA
Reaper queen: good luck with a kid I’m not paying child support. *burrows away*
Me: w h a t. T h e. H a y. J u s t. H a p p e n e d.
Also me:AAAAAAAAAA HELPP!!!
Baby reaper: N O M
And that’s how I died.
More Reaper Funny Tips
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading