Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion

Tips & Strategies

I am 9 and I play ark...... the worst mistake in my life was going to abberation cuz of giant crabs and snakes........ instead I found this
More Reaper Funny Tips
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
If the queen impregnates you than arenβt you the reaper king?π€
So does it pay child support or...?
This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a playerπππ
Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, Iβm back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, weβre struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading
Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.
Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.
And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying
Dev1 Letβs make a new creature for aberration
Dev2 Ok tell me more
Dev1 Ok make it like a rex
Dev2 Ok
Dev1 And you know the movie aliens make it like that also
Dev2 You sure?
Dev1 Ok now make it that there are queens and kings
Dev2 Umm ok
Dev1 Make them genderless
Dev2 But there are kinβ¦
Dev1 Shush let me focus. Throw the queens in the red zone
Dev2 (doubtfully) Ok
Dev1 Now put the kings up at the surface
Dev2 You sure man
Dev1 Yup. Now make them have armour that makes them basically invincible
Dev2 Are you sure aboβ¦
Dev1 And make it so to tame you have to get a queen below 10% of its max health so it can impregnate you with its child
Dev2 Umm ok
Dev1 Now make it so you have to gain seventy five levels while its is still in your survivor
Dev2 Is that it?
Dev1 yup now show me my creation
Dev2 Are you sure your ready for it
Dev1 Yup for sure
Dev2 Ok Iβm calling it the Reaper
They look like a xenomorph and a t rex had a child.
when your playing with your friends and hear a loud scream and then a death message
So first she kills my tames, impregnates me against my will, then she doesnβt even pay for the diapers or child support