My grandma when my mom don't let me go to her house

If the queen impregnates you than aren’t you the reaper king?🤔

I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral

(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)

- The one and only HazmatGaming209

So does it pay child support or...?

girls: boys can’t give birth

male ark players: think again

This big demon pops out of the ground impregnates you and leaves. What a player😂😂😂

Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!

Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.

(Gets really close)

Me: okay here we go

Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u

Me: what did u say

Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD

Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!

5 year later

Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN

Reaper queen: The entire server

10 years later

Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here

Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading

Pain isn't weakness leaving the body.

Pain is your newly acquired mutant child bursting through your chest as it's form of birth.

And I thought human pregnancies were terrifying

Me: ok I hered that you can tame a reper well raise it so I'll just get it to 1/4 heath then it so something.

Reaper queen: come here.

(Picks me up)

Me:?!

Me:wtf I fell weird ill just kill things.

(The next day)

My spino:you okay?you look sick!

Me:ok I'll just build a room and stay in it.

(Biulds a room)

Me:(blows up)ahhhhhh what?

Baby reaper:(eats me)

Me:(respawns)of that's how you get one?!(replaces wall with glass)

Baby reaper:Dada.

(The next week)

Me:(rides it)wahoooo

Willd raptor:run for your lives!!!!!!!!!

This is very innaporrtie dinosaur for young ark players

Player:”OOOOO A STORNG DINO IMA TAME U”

Queen:”child,come and tame me”

Player:*comes*

Queen:”YOU WILL OWN MY CHILD!!!”

Player:*dies*

Players parents:”how did you die?”

Player:s*shows new tame*

Players parents:”you need a new game.”

-dog,thedog,dogplays :)