Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the raptor? Funny raptor jokes submitted by ARK players.
Was playing a little while ago with a buddy when he stumbled upon a 120 raptor. He says “oh shit” and starts running toward me... I finally see why he’s coming in hot and turn to run! I make it to our THATCH house and close the door. I quickly say “don’t lead him to the hou..” as I finish my buddy opens the door and jumps inside... followed by the 120 ALPHA raptor! It proceeds to kill us both then destroy the entire house. We spawn back in, make our way to the house and rebuild. Middle of the night we hear something outside our house. Walking in circles, doing laps around our house at a horror movie like pace... it was him... it lasted 3 full days...
Me:*chilling in the sun while taming giga*
Raptor*sniffing*
Raptor:I smell I giga
Me:*sees raptor and raptor sees me*
Raptor:nice giga ur taming!OOHH!is that tek armour I would love to kill u and get the loot
Me:wait what?
Raptor:*SCHREEEEEEEEECHH*
Raptor friends:*SCHREEEEEEEEECHH*
Giga:*wakes up(while being tamed)*
Raptor:*pounces on me and knaws me up*
Me:UHH!*(also me)unconscious*
Giga:*stares at us*
Giga:*knaws on the raptor and accidentally bite me*
Game:u are wounded u at at 1 HP
Me:OWWWWWCHHHH!!! Y DID U BITE ME BRUH
Giga:OOHH!SORRY BRO!!! U OK?
Me:yup
Me:wait. AR...ARE Y..Y.U TAM.T....TA...TAMED!?!?!? ARE U TAMED!?!?
Giga:..............yes.......RRRAAAWWWRRR I AM TAMED YEAS!!!!
My name is Ashham and I hope u like this humorously REAL story. Yea! U heard that right! THIS I A RRREEEAAALLL STORY!!! R-E-A-L-S-T-O-R-Y
and
THANK YOU
Venturing out with my dilo army on the search for raptors. Knocked one out (as well as my supply of bolas..) right submerged into the water, he wasn’t dying, so dat was good. Then a theri came and attacked my raft, so I led it out into the ocean where it was killed by two sharks >:3, went back to the Somehow-aquatic raptor. Heading back to herbivore island with a new friend! Starfish.