"psst"

"What was that?"

"your knocked out rn that lobster r-KOd you."

"Oh,"

Scorpion: Have you ever felt the feeling of being unconscious underwater, and slowly being nibbled away at?

Me: Nuh Uh!

Scorpion: WoUlD yOu LiKe To?

That moment when you just got ark, enjoying the map, found out that some tames are good underwater so you decide to explore a little, you get some scuba gear and go to explore the ocean, you reach the bottom and see some glowing sh.t, you dismount to check it out and your Dino says f this and started going up. You noticed but then get distracted by the lobster looking thingy, you think it might be friendly and decided to let it get close ….

Devs: How much torpor do you want? this thing: Y E S

They're like ninja lobsters... You can't hear them walking up behind you behind.. BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DANG OCEAN! 🤣🤣 but nooo they are on land too

Why do you exist.

Who did this.

Somewhere in the Wildcard HQ:

CEO: Alright people, we need a cool water creature to annoy players

Employee 1: Megalodon but bigger?

CEO: No, too repetitive

Employee 2: A Whale that eats rafts?

CEO: No, we already have that

Employee 3: What if… Troodon but underwater?

CEO: YES

One time (on ark Mobile) I was playing in creative (the god mode thing) on 400x speed and found one of these weird ahh scorpions, turned off god mode and die instantly. :|

I hear all of these people being scared the sight of these things

me: Enter, the ascendant metal pike

+10 raw meat

+5 silica pearls

+10 oil

+15 black pearls

Can't sleep? I will help!

Eh i need more words to post this