Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
You:Cool, a beaver dam! I’m gonna go look at it! Beaver:Hoo dat btch walkin…

You:Cool, a beaver dam! I’m gonna go look at it!
Beaver:Hoo dat btch walkin to my fort?OOOHH, it da person who killd mi otha fort.Well I’m gonna show him dat I mor dan a beaver, I am a GOD!!!!
You:Aww, it’s a beav-wait, WHAT THE FREAK?!?!
Beaver:(summons the alpha giganotosaurus) TY ME BOI!!!
You:OH, HECK NAH!!!
10 seconds later...
Giga:OM NOM NOM (burps)
You:I hate beavers.
More Castoroides Funny Tips
So a friend and I needed to do a cementing paste run and he was unfamiliar with how beavers straight up hoard you like zombies when you open their dams. I considered not telling him about it to watch him die hilariously, but I didnt want to lose his mount so I did actually warn him.
But I still wanted him to experience it so I got him to open the dam. I said, get in, get the paste, get out, get on your argy and take off.
So he approaches the dam. He stops. The beavers change course and charge. I warn him theyre on their way. He’s screaming “I can’t move!”. The dumb*ss picked up all the wood! 😂 He was slaughtered by the beaver hoard as I laughed in hysterics.
After they dispersed I grabbed his gear. “Where’s the cementing paste mate?”
“There was none.” 😂 He got slaughtered picking up wood and ONLY wood!! 😂 I damn near peed myself I was laughing so hard.