5 points       Report

Lamp news!

Welcome to our news station, this is Lamp News your hearing from.

Apex is nowhere to be seen, so maybe he’s unconscious or hibernating for a few years or something similar. Just don’t expect him to be gone, he’ll return to commit Arson, Shoplifting, Murder, War Crimes, and more! (Whispering) why did I say that so enthusiastically?

We’ve also got news of Grounded’s “Hot and Hazy” update! Go check it out, we aren’t allowed to say anything else besides that and that it’s releasing October 19th!

When will Silksong release? I have the release date, and it’s 202- never mind.

Well, this wouldn’t be a News Station without ads!

(Ad) Tired of eating the wrong cereal and getting salmo- I mean, stomachache? Well look no further! Flame’s and water, now with wind and earth marshmallows!

(Ad) Come watch “The Apex Predator” in theaters, on October 25th! (Scenes from the movie) “ROAR” “HELP!” Few seconds later… Blood on the ground everywhere.

Rated R for Intense Violence and Strong language.

Well, that’s almost everything we have! Luckily for you, it’s time for “Moths and Monkeys!”

(Moths flying everywhere and monkeys swinging from trees) “Look at the beautiful creatures, such a sight to see moths and monkeys living in peace!

That’s all for today, make sure to tune in next time. And remember, we’re the SUPERIOR News Station, HJK and Shadow News will never compare!

-Lamprey

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