This thing jumped on me and violated me in so many ways

Once I had a thyla named Daniel. He was a lvl 165 and my best scouting creature. But one day, it all went downhill...

Me and Daniel were chilling by the redwood waterfall when a pegomastax takes my pistol. I jumped on Daniel and we were off. But on the chase for the pego, a microraptor jumped me and I was knocked to the ground. But Daniel chased the microraptor and ran very far away. When I woke up, I ran in the direction of Daniel, but alas, I lost him. A week of searching later, I got a message, telling me that Daniel had killed a microraptor. I had lost hope until then, and now I would find him.

Two weeks later, still no Daniel. But I never got a message from his death. Be strong lil buddy. I'll find you.

#PrayForDaniel

If you want to tame one of these nice and cuddley cats just fly in the redwood and one will jump off the tree and give you a big bear hug. It just wants to show how much it loves you!

#PrayForDaniel we will find you buddy

Don't run into this creature while tripping off shrooms

The trees, they speak Vietnamese

Step 1: bola a friend

Step 2: have the nice kitty hug your friend

Step 3: bola the kitty

Step 4: enjoy how smart you are

Step 5: rapidly shoot tranqs at the kitty

Step 6: party

I was minding my on business on my argy when a Thyla jumped on me and violated me I still have PTSD

Pretty weird that these are related to koalas 🐨