Your average day in Australia.

Bug with gun for butt.

Ark devs: we are releasing a big bug that has God like strength.

Me: Giga of the skies!!!

Ark: let’s make a new animal

Worker: ok

Ark: let’s make it fly

Worker: ok

Ark: and spit acid

Worker: got it

Ark: and can land on water

Worker: check

Ark: and can fly underwater

Worker: this is getting out of hand

Ark: shush. And have three different types of acid

Worker: ok what types

Ark: rapid fire

Worker: ok

Ark: giant bombs

Worker: are you sure about this

Ark: be quiet. And did I mention that it can freeze other Dino’s and players

Worker: this thing is over powered

Ark: I know and the last acid spit is a guided missile

Worker: but sir

Ark: let me finish

Worker: ok

Ark: and pick up giant Dino’s and flyers

Worker: I’m so sorry players

Ark: I’m not finished and let’s call it the rhynio

Worker: is it tameable

Ark: yes

Worker: how do they tame it

Ark: you have to kill the rhynio and grab a little ball thing and feed it to your Dino but before you do you have to find another one and trap it and get its health down to ten percent and then it will impregnate you’re Dino

Worker: oh my goodness

Ark: shh and then your Dino will have cravings that could be almost anything

Like a giga egg

Worker: are you done

Ark: no. And when it’s ready it explodes your Dino and it’s yours

Worker: these players are going to suffer

Ark: no there fine

Worker: ok. But are you sure you want to do this

Ark: positive

Worker: ok. And done now when I click this button it will kick everyone out of the game

Ark: do it

Worker: ok

Player 1: noooo

*Logs back in lost island*

Player1: what the heck is that

Player 2: ark made a new Dino cool

Player1 has died

Player 2 has died

Player1s argy has died

Player2s argy has died

Player1s Rex has died

Player2s Rex has died

Player1s wyvern has died

Player2s wyvern has died

Player1s rock golem has died

Player2s dodo has died

Player2: now you’ve done it

Player1: uh oh that thing is dead now

Wild rhynio1 has died

Wild rhynio2 has died

Wild rhynio 3 has died

Wild rhynio4 has died

Wild rhynio 5 has died

Worker: I feel like dodos are more powerful then the rhynio

The end

New bug: *gets added to the game*

My beelzebufo: you're about to be the best cementing paste the world has ever seen

I love that the rhynio is classified as “mid game”

When this mf pulls up in my desert base:

HANS, GET ZE FLAMETHROWER!

This is how I explain Wasps to my parents

What my friends at school think a moth is

Just encountered one of these for the first time. I saw some massive bug wings in amongst a bunch of dinosaurs, pulled out the spyglass and found out what it was. Level 12 Rhyniognatha. Immediately paused the game, as it looked scary, and went to dododex to learn about it the easy way, not the horror movie way (hey, there's something that seems extremely dangerous, let's go check it out).

Upon hearing that it is basically a sky giga, and that they have been known to take out high-level Argys, I booked it out of there as fast as I could, only looking back in camera mode so as not to stop moving. Am now too scared to go anywhere near the swamps.