Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Tips & Strategies
Everyone: “oh the (insert creature name here) should have one!!! Everyone’s so stupid for not picking the creature I wanted”
Me an intellectual: “Out of all the tames the rhyniognatha was the best by far, you’re just salty your bad pick didn’t win, just be glad we didn’t get yet another crocodile.
More Rhyniognatha Funny Tips
Ark: let’s make a new animal
Worker: ok
Ark: let’s make it fly
Worker: ok
Ark: and spit acid
Worker: got it
Ark: and can land on water
Worker: check
Ark: and can fly underwater
Worker: this is getting out of hand
Ark: shush. And have three different types of acid
Worker: ok what types
Ark: rapid fire
Worker: ok
Ark: giant bombs
Worker: are you sure about this
Ark: be quiet. And did I mention that it can freeze other Dino’s and players
Worker: this thing is over powered
Ark: I know and the last acid spit is a guided missile
Worker: but sir
Ark: let me finish
Worker: ok
Ark: and pick up giant Dino’s and flyers
Worker: I’m so sorry players
Ark: I’m not finished and let’s call it the rhynio
Worker: is it tameable
Ark: yes
Worker: how do they tame it
Ark: you have to kill the rhynio and grab a little ball thing and feed it to your Dino but before you do you have to find another one and trap it and get its health down to ten percent and then it will impregnate you’re Dino
Worker: oh my goodness
Ark: shh and then your Dino will have cravings that could be almost anything
Like a giga egg
Worker: are you done
Ark: no. And when it’s ready it explodes your Dino and it’s yours
Worker: these players are going to suffer
Ark: no there fine
Worker: ok. But are you sure you want to do this
Ark: positive
Worker: ok. And done now when I click this button it will kick everyone out of the game
Ark: do it
Worker: ok
Player 1: noooo
*Logs back in lost island*
Player1: what the heck is that
Player 2: ark made a new Dino cool
Player1 has died
Player 2 has died
Player1s argy has died
Player2s argy has died
Player1s Rex has died
Player2s Rex has died
Player1s wyvern has died
Player2s wyvern has died
Player1s rock golem has died
Player2s dodo has died
Player2: now you’ve done it
Player1: uh oh that thing is dead now
Wild rhynio1 has died
Wild rhynio2 has died
Wild rhynio 3 has died
Wild rhynio4 has died
Wild rhynio 5 has died
Worker: I feel like dodos are more powerful then the rhynio
The end
Dev1: Let’s make a bug!
Dev2: You mean, like a grasshopper?
Dev1: No, silly! A Rhyniognatha!
Dev2: A what?
Dev1: A RHYNIOGNATHA!!
Dev2: What even is that?
Dev1: Idk, some sort of wasp-dragonfly-mosquito thing.
Dev2: Huh. Ok.
Dev1: Give it the same health and damage a rex has.
Dev2: Got it.
Dev1: Give it chunky arms to pick up vaults and really big creatures.
Dev2: You know, all our players would have loved having this back before you finally let me add cryopods.
Dev1: Shut up and don’t question my evil plans!
Dev1: Give it resin that blocks damage and sticks creatures and players in place.
Dev2: Ok, this is getting a bit crazy again.
Dev1: Oh, and don’t forget its crazy weight and speed, that Omni-directional movement thing that the tapejara has, and make it swim too.
Dev2: Huh? Why?
Dev1: Also, I want there to be HUNDREDS of them in the swamp, but only on The Island and Lost Island.
Dev2: Buddy, you gotta stop making me do crazy stuff to our game.
Dev1: Keep saying that and I’ll make another insane new boss.
Dev2: Ok, fine! Rhynio-something-something done I guess.
Dev1: Great, now go learn Unreal Engine 5 for me.
Dev2: Uh, ok… Why?
Dev1: We’re gonna kill EVERYONE’S PCs…