Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Tips & Strategies
Dev1: Let’s make and alien!
Dev2: You mean like, a Martian?
Dev1: No, silly! A Xenomorph!
Dev2: What about copyright?
Dev1: Who ever cared about copyright?
Dev1: Make it really big.
Dev2: Okay, what’s next?
Dev1: Make them have an insane damage reduction and also insane health.
Dev2: Uh, don’t you think that’s a bit much?
Dev1: Shut up and let me finish!
Dev1: Make it spread a bunch of annoying acid when it dies.
Dev2: Okay…
Dev1: Make it be the replacement for rexes on AB.
Dev2: I think your ravenous monster is done.
Dev1: BTW, we need to hire David Tennant.
Dev2: What could you possibly need David Tennant for?
Dev1: The boss, obviously.
Dev2: Oh no…
More Reaper Funny Tips
I think I got too attached to my Reaper. When it was born I built an entire room for it complete with a tiny makeshift crib and blue wood walls. I cherished everyday with it and when I lost it to a level 175 Crab while I was tripping out on mushrooms I invited the whole god damned server to a funeral
(Oh and afterwards we had a feast and guess what was on the menu, Crab)
- The one and only HazmatGaming209
Dev1 Let’s make a new creature for aberration
Dev2 Ok tell me more
Dev1 Ok make it like a rex
Dev2 Ok
Dev1 And you know the movie aliens make it like that also
Dev2 You sure?
Dev1 Ok now make it that there are queens and kings
Dev2 Umm ok
Dev1 Make them genderless
Dev2 But there are kin…
Dev1 Shush let me focus. Throw the queens in the red zone
Dev2 (doubtfully) Ok
Dev1 Now put the kings up at the surface
Dev2 You sure man
Dev1 Yup. Now make them have armour that makes them basically invincible
Dev2 Are you sure abo…
Dev1 And make it so to tame you have to get a queen below 10% of its max health so it can impregnate you with its child
Dev2 Umm ok
Dev1 Now make it so you have to gain seventy five levels while its is still in your survivor
Dev2 Is that it?
Dev1 yup now show me my creation
Dev2 Are you sure your ready for it
Dev1 Yup for sure
Dev2 Ok I’m calling it the Reaper
Me: yes, I will finally stack my XP by killing this reaper queen!
Me thinking: ( she is at 1/4 heath, lemme get my magnifying glass and make sure.
(Gets really close)
Me: okay here we go
Reaper queen: Oh yes child come here I have a gift for u
Me: what did u say
Reaper queen: COME CLOSER CHILD
Me: what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reaper queen: YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILD!
5 year later
Me: Honey, I’m back. OH MY GOD, COOLDUD63 HOW COULD YOU!! HOW MANY OTHER PLAYERS HAVE YOU IMPREGNATED QUEEN
Reaper queen: The entire server
10 years later
Me: queen I need the child support, we’re struggling here
Lol please up this so everybody can see, I worked hard on this, thx 4 reading