Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the lystrosaurus? Funny lystrosaurus jokes submitted by ARK players.
Read message with deep dramatic voice:If you look in to a lime green one’s eyes they are red, that is because deep inside that athletic and cute little body is the want for death and destruction, if you tame level up strength and health, that will help it achieve it’s goal to kill every predator in its path, they will demolish every thatch structure and destroy everything without remorse, they will not spare and are mercyless killers, do not enter fear with these murderers and just feed them berries and they will kill everything and everyone by your side and give all the XP from their found and defeated subjects to your allies and you if you simply pet them and are masters of athletics, they keep all their secrets of ultimate strength to themselves, they won’t teach creatures anything except the meaning of pain is them, they are the real apexes of ark while the spinosaurus bows down as lystros laugh in the faces of rexes and devour wyverns and dragons while having a hatred for griffins.#lystros are predators
To all those ark players who are eager to finish the game
Step one tame lystro step 2 equip platform saddle step 3 equip tek armour
Step 4 make level 300 with all pump speed health damage and a little bit of stam 5 put minigun turret on platform saddle
Congruagulations you have completed life
Dilo dies and goes to the above:
“W-Where am I?” Exclaimed the Dilo
“Where you belong,” boomed a voice in the distance
“W-Who are you?”
“The voice stepped out of the shadow showing it’s metal familiar structure. It was none other than the Overseer. The fear pulsed through the dinosaur body with lightning speed.
“Welcome to the discussion of your fate, mere theropod,” boomed the Overseer
“Please, I can’t die now, I have so much to live for,” plead the Dilo
“The jury will decide your fate,”
The jury was none other than the Dilo’s favorite prey item, Lystros.
“Daddy look! It’s the jerk that killed us!” Called a little lystro
The jury discussed over if the Dilo should go to Heaven or Nameless Cove. The Dilo fell to his knees and begged and prayed for forgiveness. The jury looked at him in disgust and told the Overseer that they thought.
“Sorry little one, the jury has found you guilty, your punishment? Death,” The Overseer raised a tek sword over the Dilo’s head and down came the sword. But something strange happened, he wasn’t dead, but rather alive and well. In front of him stood a rather ugly human. The Dilo thought this was his punishment, to server the human forever. And never again did he hunt a lystro.
Moral of the story?
DON’T YOU DARE KILL THE BREAD WITH LEGS
-Voidwyrm