Real men use a Wooden club

Find a gumn point at yourself there's no jope

Get a flip flop and slap it : recommendation it has to be a big wet flip flop

Me:what weapons do we use?

Tribemate:the mastercaraft!

Me:the sword?

Tribemate:No.......THE NEWSPAPER!!!!!!!

Why does the obelisk take you to Australia

What’dya mean you can’t pick it up with pt!!!

Average ark:mobile player be like

It’s a cakewalk, you need nothing but a good pump and some stims!

Wait, this isn’t the broodgenetrix?

So I was walking through the woods one day, and I thought to myself. Hmm, maybe I should beat the Broodmother. So I tamed up some Rexes and I took off onward to the green tower. So I traveled until I got to this tiny little ledge to get to the middle of the tower. So I ran up and whistled for my army.

...every single Rex fell off

P.S. I Teleported to the Broodmothers arena 30 min later.

When you find out they can randomly spawn on 4 maps

Look at this thing as a drugged areano don’t worry it made me die less then the first time I fought it

Unlike the Dex of Dodo says, it is tamable. How you may ask? Go into your pause menu. Click Lt+Rt+X+Y all at the same time. (Xbox). A bar will appear. Click that bar. Type in admincheat forcetame. Click enter command. Boom. You now have a big ass spider that is absolutely useless. Congratulations.

Hey, you told me that there weren’t steroids in that pill, now my brother arneos are scared of me!!!

The spider version of jaws

“we’re gonna need a bigger shoe”

POV bilbo baggins

I’m bout to end this man’s whole career

The spider killed my rex.

I blamed it on a bug ;)

-nitemarefrmabv

Those legs are bigger than the Eiffel tower

They only have six legs. What is wrong with that?!?!?

Me: ok were are you broodmother?

*bunch of spiders appear*

Me: ok thats not an answer.

Broodmothee: hi.

*turns around*

Me: *screams*

I spawned and force tamed one with admin controls. The problem is that the spider army the boss creates WASN'T tamed!

Do be careful. Spawn the boss pretamed.

Get the brood father

And watch