I LOATHE THIS CREATURE!!

presented by: foldingtruck

I enter the swamp, in need of levels and sarco skin for my collection. I spot the perfect swamp puppy and wade into the water. I do the usual dinosaur takedown on it before turning back to exit, until I see something big, black and throbbing on my screen (ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK)

a MASSIVE LEECH

i had heard of these VILE THINGS before, but had never been victimized by one. I run back to my pteranodon "Terry" and floor it out of there, all with this DEMON still LATCHED ON MY CORNEA.

i google how to destroy these things and find out i have to burn them off. I happily burn it to a crisp, watching as it writhes in agony. I then go and eat a cooked meat cause i was hungry.

Credits:

foldingtruck (writing)

thats it lmao

. i spot TWO of these guys. TWO. they are EVISCERATING the local wildlife and i know i can NOT let this slide. i go back to my base, gear up, and go back. keep in mind i didnt even have a longneck rifle, so my best weapon was a crossbow. i also didnt have enough tranqs to tame it, so i was FORCED to execute this rex. so i pull up in the jungle, crossbow loaded, knees shivering and i aggro the rex. it is MUCH faster than previously anticipated, so i have to BOOK IT all while accentuating the amount of flint arrowheads in its body. i turn back only to see it has turned its attention to an innocent diplo, granting me the perfect opportunity to pelt it with arrows. i start to notice.. my arrows are dropping quickly and its about to eat that diplo and regenerate. then, suddenly, the rex just drops and the message appears:

"You killed Rex (Lvl. idk)!"

i sprint over there and collect my prize, increasingly proud of myself