Rhyniognatha Stories"Wow!" i said, gawking at the glamorous new graphics of Ark: Ultimate Mobile Edition.
I am then attacked by a swarm of supposedly "rare" hellspawns large enough to kidnap a diplodocus.
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Leechwelcome to episode 2 of:
I LOATHE THIS CREATURE!!
presented by: foldingtruck
I enter the swamp, in need of levels and sarco skin for my collection. I spot the perfect swamp puppy and wade into the water. I do the usual dinosaur takedown on…
I LOATHE THIS CREATURE!!
presented by: foldingtruck
I enter the swamp, in need of levels and sarco skin for my collection. I spot the perfect swamp puppy and wade into the water. I do the usual dinosaur takedown on it before turning back to exit, until I see something big, black and throbbing on my screen (ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK)
a MASSIVE LEECH
i had heard of these VILE THINGS before, but had never been victimized by one. I run back to my pteranodon "Terry" and floor it out of there, all with this DEMON still LATCHED ON MY CORNEA.
i google how to destroy these things and find out i have to burn them off. I happily burn it to a crisp, watching as it writhes in agony. I then go and eat a cooked meat cause i was hungry.
Credits:
foldingtruck (writing)
thats it lmao
Arthropluerawelcome to the first volume of:
i loathe this creature!!
today's episode will cover the arthropleura!!
now lets get on with it shall we
I enter one of the caves (i forget which) with my trusty Baryonyx to grab some chitin, as I had already…
i loathe this creature!!
today's episode will cover the arthropleura!!
now lets get on with it shall we
I enter one of the caves (i forget which) with my trusty Baryonyx to grab some chitin, as I had already collected the obelisk. I go through the usual routine, murdering araneos, burning scorpions, massacring beetles, the usual. Then, I see that my chitin chestpiece had broken "What? How!?" I say to myself. I turn around to see this hellspawn looking back at me. I freak out and blow it's brains out with a longneck rifle, when it's FRIENDS show up and start pelting me with.. ACID!?!?!?
I immediately mount my baryonyx and floor it out of the cave, lucky to be alive.
Credits:
foldingtruck (writing)
lmao thats it
Rexso, i was playing a:ume on my ipad when suddenly.
. i spot TWO of these guys. TWO. they are EVISCERATING the local wildlife and i know i can NOT let this slide. i go back to my base, gear up, and go back. keep in mind i didnt even have a longneck rifle, so my best…
. i spot TWO of these guys. TWO. they are EVISCERATING the local wildlife and i know i can NOT let this slide. i go back to my base, gear up, and go back. keep in mind i didnt even have a longneck rifle, so my best weapon was a crossbow. i also didnt have enough tranqs to tame it, so i was FORCED to execute this rex. so i pull up in the jungle, crossbow loaded, knees shivering and i aggro the rex. it is MUCH faster than previously anticipated, so i have to BOOK IT all while accentuating the amount of flint arrowheads in its body. i turn back only to see it has turned its attention to an innocent diplo, granting me the perfect opportunity to pelt it with arrows. i start to notice.. my arrows are dropping quickly and its about to eat that diplo and regenerate. then, suddenly, the rex just drops and the message appears:
"You killed Rex (Lvl. idk)!"
i sprint over there and collect my prize, increasingly proud of myself