5 points   😂 Funny       Report

(Ahem) “Testing testing… All otters of Ark, Please join this attendance.” (Cage lowers onto stage) “ This, fellow otters are survivors of this island whom thought we were innocent, helpless, dumb, otters. For we are not, we are a powerful colony who fight against those who kill our family. In memory of dearest Mr. and Mrs. Pearl, killed by a thoughtless rider on a rex, name of meat run, destroyed the couple. Emma pearl, what thoughts do you have about this destroying of your family?” (Sniffs) “I’m so angry at that rex, my mother and father were kind otters on a trip for mega piranha for fancy dinner, news arrived and I’ve never forgiven those mean survivors.” “I admire you for even daring to speak of your parents as I know it to be a hard subject for you. And how about the shop keeper, Riptide, a brave soul killed by a destructive survivor sicking their pets at helpless animals not prepared yet for battle. Dear riptide was killed by a dire wolf, name of Guard dog, Riptides wife? Please stand and share thoughts on this.” “I’ll never know what he wanted for dinner that night, (sobs) Oooohhhhh Riptide, he was so brave. I’m sorry, I can’t go on….” “It’s quite alright dear, therapist Oyster is waiting by the door if you would like to leave early, it’s quite alright. And last, but most certainly not least, Shelly. A dear friend to all otters, our mayor will Rest In Peace and be remembered. She sacrificed her life for the rest of the colony, running the opposite of the colony leading a hungry wyvern with a rider, name of Destoyer. Please, remeber our dear friends, as we will be back for revenge- in honor of them.” (Looks up) “Now colony, it’s time to prep for battle, infants follow Coral to the safe room in case of emergency. Come to the stage for armor, shields, and weapons. Archers, to my left, swordsmen and women to my right, and behind me, Calvary, as Professor wave grabs the Meganeuras to ride on. I’ll lead the battle as we fight for the lives of our loved ones. Tell the survivors to watch their backs, and don’t come near our territory. FOR OTTERS!” (Crowd cheers) “FOR OTTERS!!!!!!”

-Squirrely Respect the otters, Watch your back, and most importantly let them attack! For otters, as they deserve more respect. Squirrely respects you if you do. Otters respect you if you respect them.

More Otter Funny Tips