Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator

Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator
Funny Tips

What are some funny jokes or stories about the equus? Funny equus jokes submitted by ARK players.
Hello. This is a story.
So I had an equus, a level 60something. His name was owl. He was imprinted 100 percent! So I decided to go to the redwoods with him.(Bad idea). I was being chased by raptors, and I stopped so I could look to see if they were still there. They were. I was ambushed, and tackled. I was thrown off him. He stood there, being killed. I slash killed the raptor on me and went to go save him, but it was too late. He died. I vowed from then on to kill all raptors anywhere. I will now tame a pair of griffins, and breed them. I will color the baby all white and name it owl in his honor. His grave still stands in my base today.
So I had an equus, a level 60something. His name was owl. He was imprinted 100 percent! So I decided to go to the redwoods with him.(Bad idea). I was being chased by raptors, and I stopped so I could look to see if they were still there. They were. I was ambushed, and tackled. I was thrown off him. He stood there, being killed. I slash killed the raptor on me and went to go save him, but it was too late. He died. I vowed from then on to kill all raptors anywhere. I will now tame a pair of griffins, and breed them. I will color the baby all white and name it owl in his honor. His grave still stands in my base today.
I don't usually drink, but when I do I drink Dos Equus.
I tamed an equus. I did not name it. Now we travel thorough the desert, After a while i released her back to the wild, the desert had become a great sea. My name is lost to the sand. I am the sand
I was going to tame this beautiful creature, but it said "neigh" and I had to respect his wishes.
when youβre trying to post a picture of your homework on google classroom and you accidentally send a picture of your equus and your teacher sees itπ€¦πΌββοΈπ€¦πΌββοΈπ€¦πΌββοΈπ€ͺ
So thoughtful of Studio Wildcard to add Sarah Jessica Parker into the game.
Why does this not go in swamps?
Eques: this is our swamp
Me: Our swamp? This is my swamp!
Sarco: NO TALKING DONKEYS ALOUD!
Eques: this is our swamp
Me: Our swamp? This is my swamp!
Sarco: NO TALKING DONKEYS ALOUD!
Zebra or Horse?
MAKE UP YO MIND WILDCARD! My brain is having an argument with itself trying to figure this out...π§ π€―
MAKE UP YO MIND WILDCARD! My brain is having an argument with itself trying to figure this out...π§ π€―
Once upon a time I was breeding Equus and when imprinting, my Equus wanted cooked meat. Im mortified.
I once incountered this wild creature. It ate the flowers in my garden. I then named it mystery and took it to work with me. My boss made me get rid of it after it injured a customer, so I secretly hid it under the counter. When it said, "weezna" my boss descovered it and made me release it back into the wild.
I see.
I tame.
Allo come.
Me sad.
Me find another.
Giga come.
Me sad.
I tame.
Allo come.
Me sad.
Me find another.
Giga come.
Me sad.
I love horses, but hate the equus I have a lvl 142 I used to use it to knock out allosaurus. NOW IT JUST KILLS EM
One kicked me off a cliff. I lost all of my metal.
Tame an Equus they said. It'll be fun they said. It'll only take 9 carrots they said. *40 years and 90 billion carrots later* You have tamed a level 2 Equus......
Should we start preparing for the Ark Wild West DLC?
These things would rather jump into a pit of deinonychus than be tamed by me
My equus called Carrot Cake is having a REALLY bad day xD I just tamed him today , I made him a pretty saddle and rode him everywhere. I am on mobile , so there's the best glitch known to man. My equus has died 3 times today lol but the glitch is that on mobile it only saves every 10-15 mins. Every time he died I left the game before it saved , now he is zombie equus x3 lol. I took my argy and picked him up an flew him to redwoods , I made him a little tree platform base with metal walls and covered with spikes at the bottom for any glitchy dilo that trys to spit on him from super far down lol...Here's a little poem...
First was a theri!
Yikes so scary!
Second was a spino!
That had me cryn - o!
Third was 4 birds! (Terror Birds)
I've run out of words!
Don't Worry! Carrot Cake Is Safe!
First was a theri!
Yikes so scary!
Second was a spino!
That had me cryn - o!
Third was 4 birds! (Terror Birds)
I've run out of words!
Don't Worry! Carrot Cake Is Safe!
If you are bored, i have a fun halloween idea for multiplayer servers (SP works too though)
1. Tame Equus
2. Dye it really dark black
3. Equip saddle (dyed black)
4. Get sword, dye silver
5. Get really dramatic, scary armor, dye black
6. Equip implant skin if possible, preferably the lightning one and vampire eyes
7. Find player, MAKE SURE THEY DONT SEE YOU
8. Mount equus(even better if it rears up and winnys)
9. Draw sword and charge at player so they see you
10. Become the headless horsemen π€£
If you do this right, you will become the headless horsemen of your server. I hope you scare the heck out of someone woth this π
1. Tame Equus
2. Dye it really dark black
3. Equip saddle (dyed black)
4. Get sword, dye silver
5. Get really dramatic, scary armor, dye black
6. Equip implant skin if possible, preferably the lightning one and vampire eyes
7. Find player, MAKE SURE THEY DONT SEE YOU
8. Mount equus(even better if it rears up and winnys)
9. Draw sword and charge at player so they see you
10. Become the headless horsemen π€£
If you do this right, you will become the headless horsemen of your server. I hope you scare the heck out of someone woth this π
These are easy to tame whatβs the fuss... nope my equus ran me off a cliff lol
I have tamed things like carnos and megalodons without breaking a sweat but all this thing has caused me is pain