How to tame this offbrand

Step 1 wait until the innocent fasolasuchus goes to make his family a new home

step 2 9/11 his house

step 3 with no permission jump on to his back

step 4 smash his head into sharp rocks and make him lose every single braincell he has left after the 911 keep smashing until he goes zzzzz

step 5 shove meat into his mouth until he becomes your slave if he trys to wake up beating the living daylights out of him or just give it nightquil