Ark: Survival Evolved Taming Calculator
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Phiomia Taming Calculator
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Funny phiomia jokes submitted by ARK players.
Mar 9, 2017
Who else saw this and was like "What the fuck is that."
Jun 18, 2017
This thing shoots dung out it's rump like a gatling gun! I am crying while feeding it stim berries! This will never get old!
Jul 24, 2018
I had one called Monty.
It was a girl and I loved him.
But one night we went out together to get some wood and she got killed by Troodons.
1 Like = 1 rip
Aug 7, 2017
A farmer's best friend, they give A LOT of fertilizer. Truly the pigs of Ark.??
Sep 9, 2017
Little known fact phiomas are elephants not pigs, but they produce more poop than either species
Aug 22, 2017
Ride you pig thing into combat and kill everyone within sight finally burry the corpses in a mountain of shit! All hail the Phiomia the ultimate combat mount!
Aug 18, 2017
I name it always The Shit Machine
Aug 15, 2017
Got poop? Just add stimberries, and make fertilizer! Farming just got easier!
Sep 29, 2019
If you breed 300 of these and imprint them all and pump health and mele you can defeat a low level alpha Rex
Jun 24, 2017
He's just a poop machine he won't poop for nobody but you.
Nov 6, 2017
To be a pro at ark you must tame one of these run at a giga while screeching HOOOOGGGG RIDAAAAA
Aug 2, 2017
Just feed it like 200 stimberrys and it's good it will give you massive amount of loot
Apr 15, 2019
I think it is suffering from diarrhea
Jun 18, 2019
The life schedule of a phioma: be born, eat 99999999999999999999999999 times, poop 99999999999999999999999999999999999999 times the stuff you ate, and then rinse and repeat that for life. Until you become bacon.
Sep 7, 2019
Me:Yay tamed a phiomia
Phiomia:Give me stimberries pls
*Gun cocking sound*
Nov 5, 2017
Definitely one of the hardest tame! Even the largest tribes have trouble taming these. Not an early game tame!
A random person: but it's Opposite Day...
Dec 30, 2018
In ww2, they prepare bombers by getting a quets and pigs and forcefeed pigs with lots of stimberries and they drop a lot of explosive crap to the germans, thx to to that , the allies won the war
Jul 6, 2019
Ummm.... they like to take massive dumps if you feed them over 1000 stim berries
May 12, 2019
It’s a very powerful animal, keep stimberrys away from it, it will launch poop through your metal walls, be very careful when wielding such a weapon.
Oct 21, 2018
Thanks Ark for adding my 6th grade teacher to the game. Now I can get back all the times she screamed at me