Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips
What are some funny jokes or stories about the leedsichthys? Funny leedsichthys jokes submitted by ARK players.
Part 2.
So we end up saying fuck it. Let's go to Carno Island and call it a night by the shores. (WHY THE FUCK WE DECIDED TO GO THERE IS BEYOND ME) And at this point Scott's girlfriend joins the game for shits and gigs and to essentially fuck around with us.
So she's low level. Scott and I barely know what the fucks going on. And I'm paranoid as shit when it comes to this game seeing as I've received thy rod and staff on numerous occasions when it seems like I've done nothing but pour my heart, soul and time into this time vortex of a game.
So naturally I ask Cam what the plan is. To which he replies, "We're going to Carno Island and calling it a night on the shores. We'll be fine." I literally couldn't begin to count the amount of times this fucker has said verbatim "We'll be fine" and then immediately get shafted by prehistoric fuckery. But he assures us that we have nothing to worry about.
Now, one thing I will add before shit hits the fan is simply this... ➡️
Part 3.
Scott fucking LOVES Otters. It's his favorite animal. Not just in the game. Real life as well. He named his vessel the S.S. Ottermus. And our plan was to wake up in the morning and fill his boat full of Otter dicks and giggles. However, Arks dark ocean had different plans.
Its about midnight. Pitch fucking black besides shitty red auras from standing torches on these boats we just grinder for hours on just to have floating mediocrity. So we depart.
Got quite a bit of a drive. We're all tired as fuck. Few words have been said besides an occasional friendly insult and some yawns.
We're probably between 3/5 and 4/5 of the way there when suddenly this motherfucker (ALPHUCKING LEED) emerges deadass in front of my raft and bashes the shit out of me. For some reason it loses focus and heads towards Scott. (At this very moment I'm panicking and yelling like a psychotic fuck because I know good god damn well what's about to happen.) ➡️
Part 4.
Scott immediately starts losing his shit. And about 6 seconds after the Alpha Leed quit fucking on me, "Your Tribemate Scotty was killed by" etc.
His raft, after the hours and detail he spent on that was simply shattered in less than 10 seconds by a fucking whale that has an attitude simply because boats annoy it.
His girlfriend starts laughing hysterically because she obviously doesn't understand the gravity of the situation. At this point I'm sure Scott is ready to shove half his controller in his ass and throw his face through the fucking drywall. So Scott's girl is laughing her ass off. Cam is confused as fuck. Scott is having a mental breakdown. And I'm preparing my anus for Alphas return. He smacks the fuck out of me once more, and I'm almost to shore. Trying to be positive I tell everyone to relax and borrow Cams' "We'll be fine" line.
Sike. Alpha had enough and fucked the rest of us systematically.
*admins commands* "killcocksucker"
Pray for us.
There's a particular one we named Ocean Man that's outside our herbivore island on me and my friends private server. It's been there since the update. It won't leave. We want to go on a boat ride on my cruiser but he just blocks us. But we don't kill him, cos he's funny. In fact one of my friends got salty and attacked the island in a raft. Ocean Man devoured him in seconds.
Think the funniest thing that happened is that I got killed by a group of 2 of these so many times I made a platform on the motor boat set up a minigun seat and generators with turrets set up on all sides and once I saw them I cut the engine turned on the generator got on the minigun and lit them up looks like I’m having fish for the rest of the game session🤣🤣🤣